Not Exactly Linear
by MewShiny
Summary: The Doctor and England meet, and what at first begins as a quick visit to the future soon becomes a very non-linear trip across time.
1. Prolouge

**Alright, I'll try to keep this Author's note brief so you can get on with the story.  
This is a story that's been co-written by me and a friend who's username is _DragonOfFanfiction_. Me and DOF-san basically each took certain roles and wrote the dialouge that way, naration was shared so if the writing style seems to shift randomly that's why.  
We've actually written most of this story ahead of my uploading this chapter, we're editing those and I'll get them up once we're happy with how they've turned out. This chapter may not make much sense but it's a prologue, it's not supposed to, it'll all make sense by the time you reach the end of the story.  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

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**Prolouge:**

They sat at a small folding table in folding chairs on the rocky surface looking down at the beautiful blue and green planet below with teacups in their hands.

"I've seen it thousands of times and it never ceases to amaze me," the Doctor said with a grin.

England was breathless, "It's…. it's so beautiful…."

"You're part of it you know," The Doctor replied with a laugh.

America, who hadn't touched his tea spoke up at this point, "Yeah it's nice and all but uh… how are we breathing? We shouldn't be able to breath here…. right?"

The Doctor laughed, "I just extended the TARDIS's oxygen shell."

"Okay…."

"It's just magic, you don't have to understand it." England joked, smiling warmly. He was somehow able to pull his attention from the scene before them.

"I told you it's not magic, it's advanced science," The Doctor replied with a sigh.

"I was only kidding, I know."

"You never did show me any 'magic'…"

"You came and got me during a bloody magic war! It was all around us, did you not notice!?" England questioned, taking a sip of his tea.

"I saw no magic," The Doctor said with a shrug, "There was psychic energy all over the place but I didn't see anything that I'd call 'magic'."

"'Psychic energy'?" America chimed in.

"Yes, psychic energy," The Doctor stated excitedly as he took a sip of tea, "Mental energy that makes things happen. All sorts of things."

"Doctor, believe what you're looking for is the word 'denial'." England smirked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," The Doctor replied.

"If you'd like for me to show you magic, I'll show you magic," England's smile widened deviously.

"What? But if you use magic you could turn green or something!" America shouted.

"America, I broke the law when I was stuck in the past. I've been able to use magic for over three centuries."

"What?!"

"Oh yes, isn't that why you were ginger?" The Doctor asked, "Could you make me ginger…. I've always wanted to be ginger."

"I was thinking along the lines of something a bit more along the lines of impossible. Besides, you could always just dye your hair, Doctor."

"My appearance changes often enough without me doing it voluntarily," The Doctor replied jokingly, "Besides it wouldn't work anyway…."

England sighed, "I understand, but back to the point. Magic~" He sat up straighter, and held his hand palm up over the center of the table. In a few seconds, a bright blue ball of flame materialized within England's hand.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and quickly pulled out his sonic screwdriver to scan the ball of flame, looking at the readings with a smug look, "Psychic energy, rather potent psychic energy."

"Oh really?~ America catch." England tossed the flame toward a horrified America.

America caught the ball of flame, his eyes widening in surprise, "It's cold?!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Not all that surprising when I've been nearly killed by a freezing star myself."

England's smile dissolved slightly, he snapped his fingers and the flame was gone, "Well, what would be surprising to you, Doctor?"

"Surprising you say? If I knew what would surprise me it wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?" The Doctor chuckled, "More than a thousand years of traveling time and space and just about the only thing that ever surprises me is humans."

"What could I show you that would prove to you it's magic and not 'psychic energy'?" England was starting to get flustered.

"I'm not sure you can," The Doctor replied, "You're not nearly as convincing as a wizard as the carrionites were as witches that one time with Shakespeare."

England sighed angrily, "Then what do you expect me to do!?"

"I don't know, something amazing."

England facepalmed and groaned, but then he got an idea, "I'm sure you know what this is, Doctor." England closed his palm, and when he opened it, a silver pocket watch with an intricate circular pattern rested in his hand.

The Doctor's eyes widened, it was clear he was trying -and failing- to keep his cool as he asked, "Why do you have that?!"

"It was given to me by a good friend." England stated plainly.

"Who?" The Doctor asked, a strange tone of seriousness in his voice.

"A human who I could have sworn time bended for."

The Doctor shook his head, "Not a human, there's no way. England, do you know what that is?"

"Vaguely, it's called a fob watch, right?"

"Yes, but do you have any idea what it does?"

"Not really."

"It's a timelord device…" The Doctor explained, looking both worried and anxious with each word, "It allows a timelord to become human and seal away their memories until they open it… so I'm going to ask you again; Who gave that to you?"

England paused, "It makes sense now. Doctor, she didn't know… She couldn't have known…." he trailed off, many different thoughts going through his head.

"Of course not, she wouldn't have been able to remember at all…." The Doctor trailed off, looking back on unhappy memories, "I've used it before myself, I didn't remember who I was and when I found out…. I didn't want to go back…"

"I don't think I should tell you, Doctor…." England shook his head slightly.

The Doctor sighed, calming down, "Tell me anyway. I have a right to know."

"She died." England said flatly, leaning back into his chair.

For a split second the Doctor's expression seemed to vacillate between sorrow and anger but his tone remained calm, "How?"

"I believe she was executed."

"I suppose I really am the only one left then…" The Doctor replied dully, "And I won't be around much longer…"

"Doctor…." America said sadly.

The Doctor gave him a gentle smile, "Everyone has to die at some point. I've lived longer than most but my time is almost up… I'm sorry that it had to be in Utah of all places."

England dangled the watch between two fingers, "Well this is not where I expected this conversation to go, but this is the only thing that I could think of to prove magic to you."

"You surprised me, I'll give you that, but how does this prove that magic is real? It's Timelord technology, I could explain how it works if you wanted me to," The Doctor asked.

"No, I'm fine not knowing. I just thought it would do something if I showed it to you." England shifted it into his hand so that he could open it.

"I wouldn't open that if I were you," The Doctor stated as he watched the watch very closely.

"Why?" England questioned, looking up to the Doctor.

"You haven't opened it before then?" The Doctor asked curiously, not giving him time to respond before saying, "If it was in use then you'd be able to catch a glimpse of the essence of a timelord, her memories even. And if this friend of yours was able to survive the time war… you won't want to see."

England thought momentarily, looking the watch over. Just before he clicked the clasp, a wave of heat and sickness came over him. England dropped the watch as it opened, causing it to fall down to the rocky surface of the the moon.

America rushed to England's side, "Not again…. Are you okay England?"

The Doctor frowned, picking up the watch and closing it before he asked the same question.

England closed his eyes tightly as the pain increased, barely able to keep the world or moon from spinning around him, let alone reply.

"Quick, get him in the TARDIS, we need to get him back to Earth before it gets any worse!" The Doctor said loudly, but England could barely hear him in his dizziness or feel it when America picked him up and carried him into the blue box.

* * *

**Cast:**

The 11th Doctor: Me

England: DOF-san

America: Shared


	2. Fantastic

**Tada, and now that you've seen part of the end, here's the beginning. Which should make much more sense.  
I didn't mention it last time but neither I or DOF-san own Hetalia or Doctor Who... I don't think any of you thought we did but I suppose I need to say it just in case. I'll let you know if that changes in the future.  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

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**Chapter 1, "Fantastic!":**

England walked down the usually crowded London streets to find his favourite tea shop. He had wanted to go to see if they had gotten any new varieties of tea for him to try. He would have normally taken a taxi there, but today was different, today he felt like going for a walk.

Suddenly, England heard an unusual noise coming from inside an alleyway up ahead. _I know that sound! _He thought to himself, turning to the direction from which he'd heard the noise. He could scarcely make out the shape of a box materializing in the dimness of the grungy alley, he was able to recognize it as the Doctor's TARDIS from the various reports and sightings of it that he'd received throughout the years but he'd never personally had the chance to get so close.

England ducked into the aforementioned ally, and hid behind the TARDIS. _I've always wanted to meet the Doctor~_

It wasn't long before the lonely Timelord himself emerged from his faithful TARDIS. He was a bit disappointed, he'd been in the middle of a brief universal sight-seeing trip and while he was rather fond of the city he hadn't been aiming for modern London. _Strange, this isn't The lost moon of Poosh... _he thought as he stepped out into the dank London alleyway regardless of the fact that it wasn't his intended destination, _well I suppose I could always get a cup of tea while I'm here and then try again..._

The Doctor locked his TARDIS in much the same way one would normally lock a car and proceeded head out into the street.

"Oi!" England emerged from behind the TARDIS, much to the surprize of the Doctor. He ran a hand along it's apparent wooden surface as he approached.

"Who's there?" The Doctor questioned the emerging form, the dim lighting of the alley making it hard to see him clearly, by instinct his hand moved to his sonic screwdriver even if it wasn't actually a weapon, "I'm warning you, I've got a screwdriver."

"I don't mean you any harm, Doctor." England said, raising his hands up in mock defence.

"You know who I am?" The Doctor inquired, making a somewhat confused face at England, "Have we met before? Sorry, I sometimes meet people in the wrong order."

"A few times, but not personally." England stepped closer to the Doctor, "You look... different since the last time I saw you."

"Ah, that happens sometimes," The Doctor said with a tone of vague understanding, "In any case, it's nice to meet you... whoever you are."

"Oh, how rude of me," He held out a hand, "My name is England."

The Doctor took his hand as he commented, "What an odd name..."

England couldn't help but chuckle a little as he shook the Doctor's hand, "Well, my official name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland." He smiled softly.

"I think you're getting your name and your geography a little mixed up," The Doctor replied in kind with a smile of his own, despite being somewhat confused. He began to believe that the person in front of him might not be fully sane, although it was his belief that the insane ones were often the most interesting people.

"No, I'm the representation of England. I am this country." England let go of the Doctor's hand and motioned to the streets of London pridefully.

There was a short pause as the Doctor processed what England had just said before he gave a reply. The idea was ridiculous enough that the Doctor didn't quite believe him, but figured he'd at least play along, "So basically... I'm standing on top of you right now?"

"Wot? No...well...in a sense..." England rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. They were in London after all.

England's response didn't help the confused Doctor to understand at all, "Then what do you mean?"

"I mean I'm a bloody nation!" England crossed his arms and glanced away from the Doctor, "I hate having to explain this to hu-... uh... Timelords..."

"A 'nation'... Earth never ceases to amaze me," The Doctor muttered, mostly to himself, finally seeming to understand and believe what the person in front of him was, or at least was claiming to be. The mere idea of a 'nation' living as an entity on it's own interested the Doctor, but he resisted the urge to sonic and poke England in various places before at least figuring out a bit more about him, "So what exactly do you do, being 'England'?"

"I take care of the national issues, foreign affairs, mostly a lot of paperwork." England was thoughtful about this. "Also, aid however I can during wars and the like, I suppose."

"If you're 'England' then I suppose that there must also be others like yourself?" The Doctor asked, but didn't really give time for England to respond before continuing, "It's a wonder I haven't run into one of you before, with how much I've been on Earth, especially after my second regeneration... I spent a lot of time in England back then, I was UNIT's scientific advisor you know..."

"Like I said, we've met, but not personally. You have probably seen a good number of us without realizing it. And... what do you mean by 'regeneration'?" England raised a thick eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh, it's just a thing we timelords do," The Doctor replied, a sad tone sneaking into his voice, "When we're about to die it's a sort of trick we can do. You don't die, but appearance, personality, even taste in food... everything but memories change as a result."

"Oh... well, I always wondered why you would look different sometimes... that must be awful." England pondered that.

"It can be... but worse things could happen, at least I get to keep my memory."

"Oh, trust me, I know worse can happen; I had to live through a lot of horrid things." He frowned at the thought, his mind automatically bringing back several unpleasant memories.

The Doctor had to think for a moment, "You mean to say that you've lived through all of this country's history linearly?"

"Naturally." England replied monotonously, brushing the memories away with ease.

"That must have been terribly boring!" The Doctor exclaimed, "Er... no offense to your history, but I can't imagine staying in one place for so long! Not to mention in one time!"

It was true, the mere thought of having to experience time linearly with such a narrow view of the world as being stuck on only one planet bored the doctor nearly to tears. To think that England would have had to live through all of that... it made the Doctor feel a bit of respect for the nation, and possibly a bit of pity.

England thought about that carefully, "Not really... besides; I have no choice in the matter, anyway." England Frowned, "And, I can go other places, if I so wish!"

"Then is there any place you'd wish to go?" The Doctor asked, sounding amused as he pointed to the TARDIS.

Despite it being relatively obvious what the Doctor intended, it wasn't something that England had expected or was accustomed to and thus the nation didn't quite understand what he was being asked. England felt the need to inquire, "Uh... what do you mean?"

"The future, the past, Earth, or some other planet. All of time and space, anywhere and when that is, was, or will have been, would you like to stop being boring and linear for a moment and see something from a different point of view? To see something you might have never gotten a chance to see otherwise?"

Now England was slightly confused, "I don't see why you would allow _me_ to take part in something like that."

"Well, why wouldn't I?" The Doctor retorted, "You seem to be a decent fellow, and while I'm sure I can't just take you from your country and hop all around time and space willy-nilly with you, I don't see any harm in just one or two short adventures. It'll be fun!"

England considered this for a moment before hesitantly giving his reply, "Well, alright."

"Fantastic! Now, where would you like to start?"

* * *

**Cast:**

**The 9th Doctor: Me**

**England: DOF-san**


	3. Can I Marry Him?

**When we last left off England had just agreed to get in the TARDIS with the Doctor, and thus the adventure begins.~**  
**Warning: From this point on most of the chapters will be significantly longer than the previous two. This story will be very, very long. And I hope you won't mind twisted versions of characters (thanks to time travel, most of them being England past and future) and OCs (because people we initially created as funny side characters seem to have a tendency to become very important, but don't worry we've tried to avoid Mary-sue/Gary-stu(s)) as there will be quite a few of both.**  
**Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

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**Chapter 2, "Can I marry him?":**

The Doctor flung open the doors of the TARDIS in what looked to be an empty study, stretching his arms out in the most flamboyant way possible as he said, "And here we are, just off the outskirts of London in the year 3013... apparently in your house."

England cautiously left the TARDIS and looked around the small study, "Really?"

"Really," The Doctor assured him.

England opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted.

"Ugh! Not today." An angry looking future England groaned and strode in with a mountain of hi-tech paperwork. He was wearing a suit that looked like something that wouldn't have looked out of place on a modern J-pop star, it was strange but it suited him well enough.

"This shouldn't be happening..." The Doctor muttered to himself as he watched the two Englands looking at eachother. He hadn't considered the fact that England wasn't human and naturally would still be around even a thousand years into the future, if he had then perhaps the two Englands would have never met and perhaps none of this would have ever happened, but perhaps this mistake was something that needed to happen. It's not like paradoxes were always a bad thing... right?

The future England plopped the stacks on a desk, rubbed his temples, glared at the Doctor, and said, "Why'd you have to bring me _today _of all days? I'm _busy_."

The Doctor completely ignored the obvious signs that future England was annoyed by all of this, and simply answered, "It was a pretty convenient time from our end."

"Well, not on mine. Please leave." He sighed in frustration while the present England stood, still dumbfounded.

"In that case mind if we pop in a bit later?" The Doctor suggested, "We might just stay in this time frame and waste a bit of time and then come back, what do you say England?"

"Well, fine... I know you will regardless of what I say. So, be gone. I've got a ton of holo-work to do, what with being an empire and all, so I am _very_ busy."

"A wot?" Present England stood wide-eyed, not entirely hearing what his future-self had said.

"Shite." The Future England cursed. He knew that it was a bad idea to let his own past self know much about his own future, but for some reason that little tidbit had just slipped out.

"Welllllll, your future-self seems to be a bit busy so let's go visit one of your future friends before you learn too much," The Doctor said, turning back to the TARDIS and nearly pulling England in with him, "How about America, I bet America would probably be a nice nation, American's are always so... interesting. Where does he live?"

The future England glared at his 'holo-work' like he was trying to set it on fire with his mind, as his past-self told the ninth Doctor America's address.

… … …

"So this is where 'America' lives," The Doctor said as he stepped out of the TARDIS, "It's a pretty nice place, can't wait to meet him."

England eyed the Doctor suspiciously, and entered America's future home.

"Oh! Hey guys, what are you doing here?" America asked, every bit his usual loud obnoxious self, but something was different about him. He continued without giving either of the two, who'd just randomly entered his home, a chance to answer, "England, there's something different about you... did you cut your hair?"

All of a sudden, it hit England. America wasn't just older, he _looked_ older. His eyes were, somehow, less vibrant, now more of a steely gray-blue, than the prairie sky shade they were in the present. The look on his face was alone, one of maturity; A harder set jaw, and sharper features, that made him look... respectable. He was slightly taller, and had a little more muscular build, if that was possible. He still wore glasses, but lacked his usual bomber jacket, it had been replaced by an expensive-looking, charcoal coloured silk suit, white undershirt, and light blue tie. One thing was off, however. He was wearing, _with a silk suit_, a pair of red, white, and blue Converse High Tops. _Old habits die hard, I suppose._ England thought briefly in reaction to the shoes.

"Uh..." England blinked, "No."

"Did you maybe... wax your eyebrows?" America asked, sounding confident that it was the correct answer despite the fact that England's eyebrows were -and likely would be- the same thick fuzzy caterpillars that they always had been.

"Of course not!" The thought made England visibly shutter.

"Just kidding, I know that you'd never do something like that to those caterpillars..." America paused for a moment, looking a bit more serious as he continued, "You're shorter, aren't you... did you lose a territory?"

"Wot?" _There it is again._ "Wait, you mean to say, that I'm an empire again, in the future!?" A big grin bloomed on England's face.

America seemed shocked for a moment, but not as shocked as he might have been if it were the America of the past, "You... You're England from the past?!"

"Well, to me, this is the future." England replied, still smiling.

"Dude, you're creeping me out..." America stated, inching away from the slightly out of character England.

The Doctor at this point was busy fighting the urge to hit his head against the wall for how bad he seemed to be at preventing England from learning about his future, however in spite of that he was a bit curious about how all of this nation stuff worked, "So wait... correct me if I'm wrong, you got taller by being an empire?"

"I did, well, when I was." England suddenly snapped out of his OOCness and quit smiling, "The first time, I suppose."

The Doctor wasn't entirely sure what to say with that so, he simply said "Fantastic." and imagined England about a foot and a half taller when 'the sun never set on the British Empire'.

"Mmm." England went deep into thought, like he usually did when he thought about his empire days.

"So what are you two doing here anyway, if you don't mind my asking," America asked somehow managing to completely drag England out of his nostalgia and the Doctor from his odd mental images.

"Oh we're just wasting some time until this time's England isn't so busy," The Doctor explained, "I figured it'd be interesting to meet you since you're …. well, America."

"You don't need an excuse to visit the Hero!" He flashed his, trademark American smile, though it seemed slightly half-hearted. This caused England to groan and facepalm, but he seemed not to notice the change.

"A hero?" The Doctor commented, "Yup, he's american."

"Indeed." England said, rubbing his forehead.

"Come on...I'm just having a bit of fun, I haven't seen you in forever..."

"Me?" England placed a hand on his own chest, again, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah... your future self and I... we don't talk much. He probably doesn't even know I got rid of my mustache and that was decades ago..." America replied sorrowfully, though he managed to keep his cool surprisingly well.

England was at a loss for words. _America and I don't talk...?_ "Er... why?" England felt hurt at this news.

"Well with you being an empire again, we wind up fighting every time we see each other, not the fun fights from back in your time... real arguments," America kept going as if it were all the most normal thing in the world, "I'd try to talk him out of imperialism since it'll probably come back and bite him (well you) in the butt, and he just tries to get me to shut up or calls me a hypocrite because of all my states... we both kinda got tired of it and just stopped trying to talk civilly..."

England faltered, "You still have your bloody 'sea to shining sea'? After all this time?"

"Huh? Oh, of course," America replied, suddenly sounding a bit less sad, "I put a stop to growth at fifty-five states though, I mean that's more than enough for me. There's no point in just expanding forever."

"Fifty-five?" England questioned starting to get confused again.

America was also confused for a moment but soon asked, "Wait... how far in the past are you from?"

England looked at the, forgotten, Doctor, "What year, did you say that it was, again?"

"3013," the Doctor replied helpfully, "So about a thousand years."

"Right, I still only had fifty states back then, well the other five aren't much of anything special," America shrugged.

"Any sort of state is special! I'm only one bloody state!" England retorted.

"And you're perfectly fine the way you are. I'd rather you hadn't changed..." There was a distant look in his eyes as though he were remembering something unpleasant but trying hard not to show it, England at least didn't seem to notice.

"What?" England pointed at America while looking at the Doctor, "What? Why do-... How come-... Why _are_ you talking like that?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" America asked, genuinely confused.

"I mean, what happened to all of the 'dude's and... you know! Why are you speaking so maturely?!"

America seemed to think about it for a moment before he gave his reply.

"I guess... I just miss you."

England blushed, "Wot..? I... uh...Wh- What does that have to do with why yo- you're talking like that...?" _Curse my pale skin._ He could feel his face growing hotter.

"I'm being serious here!" America replied, probably a bit louder than he really meant to, "I guess I just haven't been able to really talk with you in so long that I kinda forgot how fun it was to tease you. You know I only ever talked like that to spite you, right England?..."

"No... I didn't..." England now resembled a tomato.

The Doctor by this point had had quite enough of this nonsense and therefore decided it was high time he intervened, "Well why don't we go see if future England is less busy now..."

… … …

So, England was more or less dragged back into the TARDIS, again, and after the Doctor went about pulling the correct levers and switches they were once again in the study of the busy future British Empire. Nearly as soon as England had set foot outside the TARDIS his future self plopped a small stack of holo-work straight into his arms.

"Yes, I'm still busy, I'm actually a bit behind, so I would really appreciate it if you did these for me." He said with a somewhat devious smirk, "Thank you."

"Wot? D-...I can't do these!" Present England stammered. He looked at the daunting stack of 'holo-files' that had been dropped into his arms as if they were some sort of explosive device that would blow him up any second now, and for all he knew they could have been.

"Yes you can. You're me, or more precisely you _will _be me, don't worry, I remember having done it back when I was you, you won't make any mistakes." His future self replied half smugly, half reassuringly.

"But I-... I don't know how to work these things!" He stared at the 'holo-files'. He didn't even have the faintest idea how to turn it on, much less any clue as to what would need to be done once it had been activated.

"The Doctor will help you," Future England said matter-of-factly, and though it was an afterthought he asked simply out of his 'gentlemanly' nature, "You will, won't you Doctor?"

"I suppose so," The Timelord in question replied with a sigh. He didn't really want to at all but he knew fully well that he really didn't have much choice in the matter, after all if future England remembered it happening then it was already a fixed point in time and therefore could not be changed.

England worked steadily at his future-self's 'paperwork'. He occasionally grumbled about having to do so, but he quickly got it done. With the Doctor's assistance, of course. _God, how awful I am with technology. How do I manage in the future?_

He unceremoniously dumped the 'holo-files' in front of his future-self's own finished work with an expression as if to say 'are you happy now?'.

"Yes, actually." Future England smirked, completely understanding what his past-self wanted to say, "Now that I have some free time, how's about I show you around my home?"

The Doctor started to open his mouth to say that he would be delighted when all of a sudden a woman's voice could be heard from the hallway.

"England!"

Future England groaned, "What now?"

Present England stared at the door, as the woman came inside the study. She had long wavy light brown hair that hung down to the center of her back, and the sharp green color of her piercing eyes seemed to perfectly complement that of the party dress she was wearing. She was pretty, one might even say beautiful, but she looked completely out of place in Future England's orderly seeming home. Her tone was very demanding, and she didn't even seem to notice the two strangers in the room, "There are holo-weeds in the holo-garden again. Get rid of them!"

"But I have company!" Future England whined, as he motioned to his guests.

"Are they peasants? Get them to do it then," The woman suggested before taking a look at the 'company' that Future England had mentioned, she seemed to particularly notice the slightly shorter England, "Now... who the blazes are you?"

Present England was stunned that someone had to audacity to talk to him and his future empire self like this, "England. I could ask you the same."

Rather than answering herself, Future England introduced her with a tone that made it clear that he was trying very hard to respect the woman, "This is... Queen Amelia the third, one of the last in the royal bloodline."

England was shocked. Normally Queens were, in no disrespect, old, but this woman looked twenty, and certainly didn't talk like a queen. "I-... I'm sorry, your majesty." He gave a small bow, ashamed that he had talked to her in such a way.

The Queen smiled a bit at England's mannerly display and quickly replied, "You are forgiven, and look very hot."

England blushed a little, but quickly convinced himself that that was meant in a different respect, "No, actually I find that it's a perfectly normal temperature in here, your majesty."

"He's rather attractive, can I marry him?" the queen said turning to future England.

"Inbreeding..." The Doctor mumbled to himself, no one else seemed to hear.

"No, Amelia." Future England scoffed. Present England blushed a little more, but not nearly as much as earlier.

She pouted, "Well why not? He's hot, he has nice manners, and he's even British this time! You don't want me to get married, is that it? You just want me _all_ to yourself don't you?"

"You can get married, just not to me- And, I do not! I haven't liked a queen in _that_ manner for a _long _time, besides how can you think I'm hot; haven't you always called me 'plain-looking' before?" Future England retorted.

"You _are_ plain looking, what made you think I said _you _were hot? It's your friend that's the hotty here," Amelia replied snidely as she wondered why boring old England couldn't see how much hotter his friend was than him.

"Wot...?" Present England asked quietly, starting to get _extremely_ confused.

"Exactly." Future England replied. "But _we're_ the same person, Amelia."

"England, I'm not stupid," She started, with a sour expression, and continued with the tone of a detective exposing a criminal, "If he were you you'd have to look the same. But he's clearly very very hot, whereas you are more plain looking than a loaf of holo-bread. Besides it'd be impossible to get two of the same person in one place anyway without a holo-looking glass."

"Actually that's not entirely correct," The Doctor pointed out, "With time machine or any means of dimensional travel it would be quite easy to have multiple versions of the same person running around. In this particular case they're both 'England' but they're temporal variants of each other."

"But they don't look the same!" Amelia objected childishly, more likely than not having ignored the Doctor completely after he'd pointed out that she was wrong.

Future england rubbed his temples in frustration, and glared at the queen, "Amelia, please."

"'Please' what?" She asked, completely oblivious as to what he might be asking of her.

"Shut up." He glared.

"Hey! I don't care if you're me -actually because you're me- don't talk to your- my- _the _Queen like that." Present England chastised his older, and pointed to Queen Amelia III.

"Meh" was all that Future England responded.

"You should listen to your hot friend, I'm the Queen and I order you to weed my holo-garden!" Amelia said, apparently just remembering why she'd come to find England in the first place.

"Ugh... no." Future England bluntly replied.

"Why not?" She inquired.

He talked in a tone that one would use if they were irritatingly instructing a child who did not understand directions, "Because, as I've said, _I have company_."

"In that case do it when they leave," She compromised, throwing open the door and leaving the room with a huff.

"Shall we go? Your future self seems to have a lot on his plate at the moment..." The doctor stated.

"Er... if that's alright?" He looked to his future self, who sighed and nodded, "Alright then. Let's go."

"Would you like me to take you back home, or would you prefer something more fantastic like the Lost Moon of Poosh, or maybe Barcelona?" The Doctor suggested excitedly as he turned to the TARDIS and opening the doors.

"I think my own time is fine." England replied exasperatedly.

"Suit yourself," The Doctor replied, "Let's be off then."

* * *

**Cast:**

**The 9th Doctor: Me**

**England: DOF-san**

**Future England: DOF-san + some lines by me (His outfit is like this, but his face and hair are the same: clubtoxic . us / wp - content / uploads / 2012 / 03 / Mens - shirt . jpg)**

**Future America: Me**

**Queen Amelia III: Me**


	4. Where's France With a Sex Joke?

**Not really much to say here this time around... so...  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 3, "Where's France with a sex joke?":**

So, England and the Doctor set off with the intention of returning England to his own time.

But...

As the Doctor opened the TARDIS doors and the scent of salty sea air rushed in. The ground beneath them seemed to rock back and forth, they appeared to be on a boat -that much was clear- but where and perhaps more importantly _when_?

The smell of the sea set off all kinds of nostalgia in England, and he fought back memories.

"Oi! Wot're ye doin' on me ship!?" A heavy accent greeted them sharply, along with the point of a cutlass at the Doctor's throat.

"I can explain," The Doctor offered. He wasn't the least bit worried at all, in fact the setting kind of excited him. Real pirates weren't something he saw very often in his time traveling career, sure he could probably go find some anytime he felt like but the thought hardly ever occurred to him.

England, however, was less excited. He stepped out of the TARDIS to get a better look at the aforementioned pirates.

"Ay!" And... quickly found the cutlass being pointed at him rather than the Doctor, "'Oo said ye could come out a' that contraption?" The pirate questioned. _Wait._ England trembled slightly. _That's me._

"He's me..." England shakily whispered to the Doctor fearing for his life as he remembered what he had been like.

"Hmmm?" The Doctor leaned a bit closer to the pirate -dangerously close- to get a better look at him, "Oh, so he is! Fantastic! You didn't tell me you were a pirate! Why didn't you tell me you were a pirate?"

"SHHhh!" England pleaded.

"Oi, don't be wisperin'. Get off me ship." Pirate England commanded his voice taking on a rather dark tone as he spoke the last sentence. He nodded his head overboard, and prodded the Doctor with the point of the cutlass.

The Doctor seemed to completely ignore this obvious hint, "Blegh, your breath reeks of rum... fine we didn't mean to come here anyway, we just missed our stop... by a few centuries, apparently."

"That's it. Crew!" Several crew-members approached the trio, "Throw 'em overboard."

"Oi, thar's no need ta be so hasty," The Doctor replied trying to speak with the same dialect as Pirate England as if he thought it would get his point across, "We'll jus' get back in our ship an' be off. Arrgh?"

England facepalmed, just before two grunts grabbed him and threw him overboard. He plunged into the ocean screaming.

The Doctor rushed back into the TARDIS, not sure what he would do to help England, after all it's not like he could just go underwater and open the TARDIS doors for England, that would get everything all wet... but what could he do?

Suddenly, more men lifted up the TARDIS and threw it overboard, crashing into the saltwater with a loud splash. The TARDIS was sinking fast, and while with it's shields that wasn't really any sort of problem, the Doctor knew he couldn't just leave England behind.

England was drowning, and it didn't help that he couldn't swim. He tried desperately to hold his breath, but to no avail. Water was already in his lungs, and he unconsciously started to flail and cough, only sending more saltwater rushing into him. He tried desperately to locate the Doctor, but his vision blurred, and he passed out before he could.

The Doctor by this point had managed to locate England through the TARDIS viewport but still had no clue what he would actually do, he steered the TARDIS as close as he could to the unconscious nation. With a sigh he turned the TARDIS's interior shields to max in hopes that maybe if he opened the doors they'd be able to keep the water from rushing in.

After a brief moment's hesitation the Doctor opened the door and pulled England inside, of course not without letting a torrent of water in with him. The Doctor hastily closed the doors and went about checking England's pulse.

It didn't exist.

The Doctor's eye's widened with worry. He'd just seen England's future self, there's no way that the nation could have possibly died here and now, right? The Doctor checked again, there was still no pulse. He even tried scanning him with the sonic screw driver. England was dead, definitely very dead.

At this point the Doctor started murmuring to himself, "I just killed a country... what am I going to do...? What the heck am I going to do?! But he's supposed to survive... that was a fixed point, how can he just die like this, he's a freaking nation for crying out loud!"

The Doctor soon realized just how crazy he was starting to sound, but this really was a first for him... someone dying long before they were supposed to. He had no clue how to handle the situation.

Maybe he would just drop England off at his house in the present (so that people would at least be able to do something with his body) and see how time works things out? It wouldn't be a very nice thing to do, but what other options were there? None really, it's not like the Doctor could go back and prevent his death as it seemed his death had also been a fixed point... it couldn't be changed.

The Doctor spent about an hour sitting in the TARDIS at the bottom of the sea just wondering what he should do before he heard a terrible coughing sound coming from behind him.

England lurched to the side and quickly started coughing up a torrent of water. Afterward, he dry heaved several times, and continued to cough sporadically, occasionally coughing up more water.

The Doctor, of course, was surprised by this and rushed over to the coughing nation, and he helped England get into a better position to get the water out of his lungs.

After the fit of coughing, England managed to say, "Thank you..." to the Doctor.

"Are you okay? No, wait, you shouldn't be talking...but you seem to be fine," The Doctor looked over England checking his pulse again as well as scanning him with his sonic screwdriver, "You _are _fine... but you were dead... How?!"

"I... was dead... thank you for... retrieving me... if you had left me... hehe... I don't know what would have happened." He managed to say raspily, offering a weak smile.

"Perhaps you'd have revived yourself with gills instead," The Doctor mused.

"'Gills'... of course not." England chuckled, but soon flinched as a wave of pain washed over his lungs.

The Doctor sighed, "How are you even alive, you were dead. No pulse, no breathing, and two lungs full of water. And now you're chuckling."

"I'm fine. Did you... really think that nations died that easily? ….If so, I would have been dead... long before I even became a nation.….. I've died hundreds of times... by human standards-" England erupted into another fit of coughing. "Ugh... but I always hate it, well who wouldn't…?"

"I understand completely..." The Doctor replied, thinking back on his own regenerations, "You've got me beat though, I've only died nine times... it's a miracle it hasn't been more."

Despite his earlier jokings the timelord couldn't help but be a bit amazed, not only had England actually completely died and come back he wasn't changed at all by the event. He knew that if he himself had drowned then there'd probably be nothing that could be done, he'd probably just regenerate over and over until either someone fished him out or he ran out of regeneration energy, and even if he were rescued he'd be coming out of the water a completely different person... to England however this seemed to be a perfectly normal experience, he died and now he's alive there's nothing to it. It almost made the Doctor jealous.

"Yeah? Mmm..." England got into a sitting position, and tried to fix his hair with a hand.. "Bloody hell, I'm still soaking wet."

"Drowning tends to do that to people. You were only out for an hour or so," The Doctor commented, "Let's get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold, you can take whatever you want from the dressing room. It's down the hall sixth door to the right... do you need help getting there?"

"Oh... no, I'm fine. Just put me back in my time... I can wait until then. Thank you, though." England stated humbly, slightly confused at the directions. _How can this be so big? Is it magic?_

"Hmmm... okay, I guess we should get going then," The Doctor replied. Turning his attention to the TARDIS console and proceeding to flick a series of switches and levers.

Thankfully this time, the TARDIS landed where and when it was meant to, that being in Englands study in the year 2013. They were about a week off from when they'd left but, of course England had no way of knowing that at the time.

"Finally..." England stepped out of the TARDIS in search of dry clothes. After he had changed, he came back to check on the Doctor.

Strangely enough, the Doctor had waited for him rather than leaving right away to go on yet another journey of sorts as he normally would. Normally he hated to say 'goodbye' but in this case he felt certain that he'd meet the nation again at some point so it didn't really feel like a goodbye at all.

"Well I suppose I'll be leaving now, places to see, things to do," The Doctor said, he was actually a bit sad to be leaving England behind, but of course he knew that England couldn't just abandon his duties and come with him.

"I'm sure I'll see you again." England smiled warmly, adjusting his fresh clothes slightly.

"You can count on it," The Doctor replied adding a warm smile of his own. He turned to go into his TARDIS but then stopped, "Oh, one more thing."

England was surprised, "What?"

"In a few weeks, make sure you evacuate London properly."

With that the Doctor closed up the TARDIS and left without giving England any time to reply. Perhaps this time he'd be able to make it to the lost moon of Poosh, or maybe Barcelona for that matter.

England blushed again, "Wot...?" That sounded like all kinds of wrong to nations, but _I suppose that the Doctor doesn't know that_. England reasoned.

… … …

England hid behind a large pile of concrete and brick rubble from a destroyed building. He gripped the stock of his L85A2 assault rifle, flattened himself against the pile, and waited for the beast to pass.

After the Doctor had left, London, along with various other parts of England, had been invaded by strange (probably alien) creatures. _Oh, how it reminds me of The War of the Worlds..._ England had thought. Everyone had been evacuated from London, except himself of course.

The creature rounded a corner and quickly came toward England. He shot it, and got up as fast as he could to run into an abandoned building, not staying long enough to see how it reacted. _No sign of them in here-_

"What are you doing here?!"

England turned toward the the voice, raising his assault rifle into a firing position.

It was the Doctor of course. "A weapon like that isn't going to do anything you idiot, what are you doing here anyway, the city's supposed to be evacuated!"

England lowered his weapon, "Well, you could have been more specific with the warning!"

"Warning? What warning?" The Doctor asked, furrowing his brow confusedly.

"Wait. Doctor, you don't remember?" Now England was confused.

The Doctor thought for a few seconds, "Nope. Don't remember warning anyone, not about this at least. I'm just finding out about it myself, stepped out of the TARDIS and the streets were empty except for these angry- wait... you know who I am, have we met before?"

_Maybe he hasn't met me yet..._ "Uh... no... but I've heard about you." England lied.

The Doctor wasn't really sure what to make of this stranger but he could at least tell that he was some kind of military official, a high ranking one at that. It was easy to assume that if he hadn't gone out when the evacuation was called then he had no intention of leaving... the Doctor sighed, "Fine. Who are you anyway?"

"My name is Captain Arthur Kirkland." England hoped that his army helmet came down far enough to cover his eyebrows.

"Another Captain...," The Doctor muttered to himself, "You wouldn't leave and get somewhere safe if I told you to, would you Captain?"

"No, Doctor. I must stay to help mys- my country." England stuttered.

The Doctor found himself sighing again, "Fine, I won't waste any time trying to convince you then." He paused for a moment, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a large and very destructive-looking gun, "Here, take this it'll help you protect yourself at least."

England put his L85A2 into it's holder on the back of his camouflage uniform, and took the weapon, "What is it exactly?"

"A stun gun."

"'A stun gun'!? The thing's huge!"

"It's a really good stun gun."

"B- But I don't want to _stun_ them, I want to _kill_ them!"

"Well, I don't. Those creatures are only rampaging because they've been taken from their home planet and forced here, they're usually harmless you've just caught them in a bad mood," The Doctor explained, a bit upset by England's intention to kill them, "After I stun them I'm going to take them on my ship back to where they belong."

"That sounds humane enough, but how can you call destroying half of London 'in a bad mood'!?" England questioned.

"Well what would you do if you suddenly woke up and you were in a completely unfamiliar place filled with weird creatures you'd never seen before?" The Doctor paused for a moment waiting for 'Arthur Kirkland's' answer but then continued, "You'd probably do the same thing -more or less..."

"I believe that I would be scared, but not _destroy half a major city_!" _It really hurts._

"They're just trying to find their home! They don't even know where they are!" The Doctor stated, a hint of anger sneaking into his voice, "Now let's _stun_ them before they _finish_ destroying London."

"God, let's do. I don't need London destroyed." England said worriedly.

The Doctor was a bit curious, "Why's that, your girlfriend live here or something?"

"Uhhhh... No." England blushed slightly. _Where's France with a sex joke?_

The Doctor of course remained oblivious to the suggestiveness of what had just been said and instead decided it was about time they head out, "Anyway, let's go."

"Alright. Lead the way, Doctor." England tightened his grip on the 'stun gun'.

So, the Doctor and Captain Kirkland set off in search of the alien creatures. The Doctor did most of the stunning. England just wanted them gone.

Whilst running from a certain creature that decided it didn't want to be stunned, England tripped over an unseen piece of concrete rubble falling onto a large piece of broken metal wiring.

"Are you alright?" The Doctor helped England up.

"Yeah! Let's go!" England winced, and started walking but was stopped mid-step by the Doctor who was pointing at his abdomen.

England had a gaping stab wound, and was bleeding profusely.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." England reassured.

"You obviously aren't," The Doctor pointed out, knowing that a human could and would easily die from something like this.

"But I am. Come on... it's going to find us sooner or later." England started running off, gripping the wound.

The Doctor frowned, "If you run like that the bleeding will get worse."

"And if I don't 'run like that' the creature will get us." England continued running, visibly in pain.

"Go hide in a building," The Doctor replied, catching up to England with ease, there was a look in his eyes that betrayed a strong desire to not see anyone die ever again, "I'll take care of the rest of them myself."

England stopped and looked the Doctor in the eyes, "I said, I'm fine." Blood was now oozing out from between his fingers.

The Doctor's eyes narrowed coldly, "The way you are now, you'll certainly die. You'd only be holding me back if you tried to help."

England scoffed, "Well, if that's what you really think," England turned his back to the Doctor and started walking away, "But I'm by no means a coward."

"I can see that," The Doctor replied, "You're just stubborn."

England made a noise in his throat, and leaned against the support beam of a nearby building.

The Doctor wasn't sure what to say, so he simply left the Englishman and continued to go about stunning the creatures until he'd managed to get all of them.

England sat down, his back resting on the wall as the Doctor came walking back.

"You're still alive? Even now?"

England was breathing heavily, "Well, aren't you kind...?"

"I don't think I've been considered 'kind' for a very long time, captain," The Doctor responded.

England looked at the Doctor oddly.

The Doctor sighed, "I killed my own people, and many others too... I've killed so much that sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to get the blood off my hands. Even if I was just trying to save everyone... ah this probably sounds really boring to you, you're about to die and here I am talking about killing..."

"Not really, ….I know exactly how it feels..." England responded the same way most of the nations would have; They all knew what that felt like.

The Doctor shook his head, "Whatever it is you've done, I know I've done worse."

"Really? How can you be so sure?" England bristled.

"There are still people on this planet."

England's eyes widened in shock, _That bad!?_ He was at a loss for words.

The Doctor remained silent.

England glanced at the blood that had gotten on his gloved hand from gripping his wound. His own blood. He sighed. _Great, I have to die twice in three weeks._ He looked at the Doctor. It was hard imagining something like that. He thought that he had it bad, but that just put everything in perspective.

The Doctor let out a bit of a sad sounding laugh, "I guess it's my fault you're dying too, if I'd only tried to convince you to leave instead of letting you stay you wouldn't have wound up like this..."

"Don't worry," England chuckled, the blood loss starting to get to him, "I'll be fine." That was, however, true.

"You call dying being fine?" The Doctor asked.

"It's nothing. 'Tis only a flesh wound." England smiled madly.

The Doctor frowned a bit at that as he wondered how the captain could still joke around so effortlessly in such a dire situation.

England just smiled, light-headedly.

"So, did I manage to protect whatever was important to you in this city?" The Doctor asked curiously, mostly just because he knew the Captain didn't have much time left, and was starting to go mad.

There was no response. England's head just lulled to the side limply.

The Doctor's frown deepened, he knew that 'Arthur Kirkland' was now dead, but he checked anyway. The confirmation only saddened him more.

Not sure what else to do, the Doctor figured he'd at least leave the Captain's body somewhere that he would be found...what better place than a morgue?

* * *

**Cast:**

**The 9th Doctor: Me**

**Slightly earlier 9th Doctor: Also me**

**England: DOF-san**

**Pirate England: Dof-san**


	5. And I'm The Queen Of England

**I just want to apologize in advance to all DW fans for what I had to make the Doctor do in this chapter. I'm not proud of it and he won't be proud of it either, but it was what we needed to do to knock over the first metaphorical domino in the true plot of this story.  
That's right, I said true plot, because right now we're still just lining up what will be happening.  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 4, "And I'm the queen of England.":**

Sometime later, England found himself very uncomfortable. _Where am I?_ He squirmed around a bit, and realized that he was in a bodybag. _Jolly._ He thought sarcastically.

_It's so irritating to get out of these things._ "HEY! Somebody let me out!" He thrashed around a bit, but to no avail.

The mortician that was on duty at the time was surprised to find the wriggling body bag, he'd have probably been surprised even if it hadn't been shouting for help. Warily he approached the bag and after a moments hesitation he unzipped it expecting to find a zombie or perhaps a vampire that would immediately try to kill him.

Fortunately England was neither of those things, and just a perfectly normal looking brit.

"What the bloody 'ell are ya doin' in a body bag?" The Mortician asked, completely justified in his curiosity of course as it wasn't everyday that this sort of thing happened.

"I don't know! How'd I get here?" He said, struggling to get out of aforementioned bodybag.

"`Ow should I know?" The mortician asked, making weird motions with his hands to express his confusion, "Corpse jus' shows up all 'a a sudden an' now you're magically alive. Oo the 'ell are ya 'neway?"

Finally freeing himself, England answered, "I'm Captain Arthur Kirkland." He sat down on the table the bodybag was on.

"Dat famous military bloke?" The Mortician asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yes." England replied, looking down at his bloodied uniform, he took off his army helmet, and reached for his L85A2, but it was missing. "Where's my gun?"

"Oh, righ'. Yer stuff's in the drawer over 'ere," The mortician replied, scratching his head, "Dead bloke don't need a gun after all."

"Er... I suppose not." England took off his bloody gloves and returned his weapon to it's proper location. _Strange, the Doctor must have taken his 'stun gun'._

The mortician looked at England with a strange expression, "What were ya doin' in dat bag 'neway? I mean I was sure ya were dead a'fore, but now yer movin like it wasn't nothin'."

"Uh..." England decided to dodge the question with his political powers, "Classified... so you had no report of a body being brought in? No idea?"

"None at all," The mortician shook his head, "Ya jus' showed up."

"Right..." England put his gloves into his pocket, and picked up his helmet, "I'll be leaving then, thanks for letting me out of there." He started to walk away but had no clue as how to get out of the morgue.

"Ya need some 'elp?" The Mortician asked, "This place kin be a bit `a a maze if ya don' know yer way around."

"Actually, yes. Where is the exit?"

"Down the hall out dat door take a right, then ya just have ta go up the stairs an' the exit 'll be at de end `a the hall ta yer left," The Mortician explained.

"Ah, thanks." England remembered that London had been evacuated, "One more thing; What city are we in?"

"City a` Cardiff," He replied, wondering why the captain needed to ask.

"Right, thanks." England followed the given directions, but before he opened the exit, nation hopped. _I can't have everyone see me like this._

A few seconds later, he was at his home. "Finally."

… … …

The Doctor, having just left England's house after bringing him to his own time had left for the Lost moon of Poosh, but the water that had gotten in the TARDIS when he'd pulled the drowned England back in seemed to be making the TARDIS malfunction, so when he opened the doors expecting the missing moon he instead found the study belonging to none other than future England.

"Stupid helmic regulator," The Doctor muttered under his breath. He was about to close the TARDIS doors and try again when future England caught sight of him.

He had been doing 'holo-work' at his desk, but now looked at his Doctor. "Oh, you're back. Good." He put down the device, and strode up to the Doctor, "I have thingamajig I want you to look at."

"A thingamajig?" The Doctor repeated curiously, "what kind of thingamajig?"

"I don't know! That is precisely why I want you to look at it." He started walking away, and the Doctor assumed that he was meant to follow him, so naturally he did.

"Well that's very helpful," The Doctor rolled his eyes and followed.

Future england led him outside to a small porch-like room, and pointed at a heap of metal in what appeared to be a cage, "That."

"Is that..." The Doctor trailed off, he approached the cage coming up as close as he possibly could, and then stopped, "It can't be... I thought that I'd wiped them out but... but what else could it be..."

"Out with it. What is this thing?" England asked impatiently, "I'm still very busy, I don't have all day."

The Doctor swallowed, speaking as if this were some sort of nightmare that'd come back to haunt him, "A cyberman."

"Is that…. bad?" England raised a, still thick, eyebrow.

"Tell me, how long has it been since you found it?" The Doctor demanded.

"Only about a week or so." England folded his arms on his chest.

For a moment an expression of horror flickered on the Doctor's face, "Oh this is bad... this is very bad. _Very_, very bad."

"How so?" England furrowed his brow in confusion.

"There'll be more of them than just the one, and they'll have just been multiplying this whole time, 'upgrading' people they call it..." The Doctor paused for a moment, "And of course, there's only one way to get rid of the cybermen..."

"That is...?" England asked worriedly.

"Kill them all," The Doctor replied, his tone was dark and almost angry sounding. He obviously was not happy about the idea.

"But, there has to be some other option! I can't just go around killing my citizens! That would hurt me too, you know!" England pleaded.

"It would?" The Doctor asked, confused by England's statement.

"Yes, now how many people could those 'cybermen' 'upgrade'?"

"It depends..." The Doctor trailed off, "depending on how many there were to begin with and whether or not they had the parts... there could very well be thousands by now. Maybe even millions."

"You don't mean to say they could very well turn all of England?!"

"Left unchecked they could, and would."

"But that would turn me too! You have to do something!" England was starting to get desperate.

"What? You're not human so you shouldn't be compatible with their system," The Doctor replied, still he shuddered at the thought of England becoming a cyberman. _They're hard enough to kill already..._

"But I'm more or less an average of my people; I'm connected to them and the land! If a good number of them turn, I would too!" England bit his lip.

The Doctor's eyes widened as he came to understand the precise implications of what England was saying, "Killing them is the only way, otherwise they'll just keep converting more and more until eventually there's no one left on Earth that hasn't been 'upgraded'..."

England covered his mouth with a hand and sighed, "You don't understand how excruciatingly painful that would be-"

"No, I don't understand," The Doctor replied, his tone was completely serious if not a bit angry, "Are you going to try to stop me? Because either I get rid of them or Earth becomes a desolate wasteland filled with unaging, undying, unemotional things that used to be human, and I'm not going to let that happen."

It would have been the most logical course of action for England to not want the Doctor to kill them. Even if they'd been 'upgraded' into those cybernetic monstrosities they were still human at base, they were still a part of his population. It would hurt England a lot to get rid of them, the alternative of just letting them spread until he became one of them probably would have seemed pretty appealing… The Doctor had worried for a moment that England's ambition might be enough that he might try for that option instead.

England glanced away, "I'm not going to stop you, if that's what you're worried about.….It's just that... when people are killed, it hurts us nations. It's like you feel their pain... it's just terrible..." He trailed off.

"It must be..." The Doctor stated unable to think of anything that he could say to comfort England, "But there's nothing else that can be done. Can you bear the pain?"

"...Yes... if it's not too many... it won't kill me, if that's what you're getting at." England sighed, "But it will certainly leave a scar, and not be enjoyable in any way..."

"Then I'll try to be as quick as possible... before they can 'upgrade' many more."

"...Alright..." England quickly teleported to somewhere else within his home.

The Doctor cast a sidelong glance at the cyberman in the cage type thing and muttered a curse under his breath, "Well... I guess I should get started."

The Doctor was not able to take out the Cyberman threat nearly as quickly as he'd hoped, there were far more of them than he'd imagined and for a while it had seemed that there would be no end to the chore of getting rid of all of them. It took four days of tireless work in total before the Doctor was satisfied that he'd completely annihilated them all and once he had he returned to visit England.

England had been a little harder to find than he originally thought, but the Doctor eventually found him.

He had been curled up on his large bed in the fetal position, both hands respectively clutching fists of hair, and shaking like a leaf when the Doctor approached him.

"You okay?" The Doctor asked casually, knowing fully well that England was definitely not okay and probably wouldn't be for quite some time.

England jumped at the Doctor's voice and very quickly sat up to press himself against the headboard. There was a scared, frenzied look in his eyes.

England realized that it was the Doctor and quickly wiped stray tears from his eyes, "...N- No." His voice was hoarse, the kind of hoarse that came from screaming until your voice runs out.

The Doctor was surprised, England's condition was even worse than he had at first suspected. Even if he'd only recently met England he could tell that he was a very proud nation, the fact that he was admitting to not being okay worried the Doctor greatly. He tried to remain calm, "At least it's over now..."

England scilently moved to sit on the edge of his bed.

The Doctor sat down next to him, "It won't get any worse... right?"

"How many was it..?" England questioned hoarsely, avoiding the question.

"I lost count..." The Doctor replied reluctantly. He hadn't been able to count, hadn't tried… hadn't wanted to.

England rolled up his sleeve to look at his teleporter. It looked like a high-tech watch, but served many more functions. It was main function was to teleport the wearer, but it also served as a simple holo-computer and holo-phone, though he prefered not to use the holo-phone option. He turned it on and brought up a news application and searched for disappearances, but instead of displaying information on a tiny watch-face screen, it displayed it holographically.

When England found the report, he cringed and looked darkly at the Doctor.

The Doctor didn't even ask just how bad it'd wound up being, he _really _didn't want to know the answer. It was much easier to deal with the fact that he'd essentially killed so many people (even if they could barely be considered as such any more) when he didn't have any precise numbers to go by.

England scowled and showed the Doctor the report against his will. '20% OF ENGLAND'S POPULATION DISAPPEARS!'

The Doctor visibly paled at the reminder that he had been personally responsible for the deaths of so many people. Even if there hadn't been any other options he still felt guilty, especially seeing the state that it had left England in.

England powered down his teleporter, crossed his arms, and glared at the Doctor sadly. "Are you sure ... you got them all?"

The Doctor paused for a moment before nodding, "I made sure of it."

"...Good.." England said breathlessly, trying to get up off the bed, but stumbling and falling on his face.

The Doctor helped him back up and made him get back on the bed, "You're in no condition to be going anywhere, even if you are a nation."

England rubbed his face and sat back on his bed. "But-" He was cut off by the Doctor.

"No buts about it. You're obviously very unwell and I can't just sit back and let you go do whatever it is you were going to do."

"Yes, mum." England chuckled dryly, and laid down on his bed.

The Doctor let out a little chuckle of his own, "If still you're well enough to joke I suppose you aren't going to just keel over any time soon."

"I told you that it wouldn't be fatal, just... excruciatingly painful." England rubbed his sore throat and cringed.

"Yeah... but with 20%... I can't help but worry about you a little," The Doctor replied.

"I- I'm fine." England said, not very reassuringly.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "You really expect me to believe that?"

"Yes. I'm fine, I assure you." England had the strangest feeling that he would be saying that a lot soon.

The Doctor looked at England as if to say 'really, still lying?', before saying, "When I came in and asked if you were okay you told me yourself that you weren't."

"I never said that! I'm fine!" England said louder than before, albeit still sounding hoarse.

"Don't even bother pretending you're fine when you know you aren't. I'm not called 'the Doctor' for nothing."

"But I didn't!" England looked generally convinced of that, though his voice still said other things.

The Doctor was confused, did England really not remember? Had he truly managed to convince himself that he was perfectly fine despite the fact that he very clearly wasn't. The Doctor didn't know what to say.

"Are you going to let me get up and go to get something to drink if I try?" England asked, returning to a normal volume.

"What kind of drink do you want?" The Doctor asked, "I'll go get it. You need to take it easy for a while."

"I'm fine. Tea, please. Any kind will do, but it is instant, so you'll have to use the holo-teapot."

The Doctor nodded and quickly was off to go get some tea. It being 'instant tea' it didn't take very long at all before the Doctor had returned with a nice piping hot -but not too hot- cup of tea which he promptly handed England.

England sat up and sipped his favourite beverage. Not his favourite tea, the Doctor had brought him chamomile tea, but good nonetheless.

"Well, I suppose I should get going," The Doctor said hesitantly, he didn't want to leave England all alone but he didn't really want to stay either, "Make sure you get plenty of rest... I guess I'll see you around sometime."

"With all the holo-work I have to do? Sure." England replied sarcastically.

"Hey I'm serious here," The Doctor responded, "Put off the work for a while, don't be too hard on yourself."

"Yeah, yeah." England replied dismissively, taking another sip of tea.

"Well... I suppose I'll see you around sometime, England," The Doctor said, as he walked out of the room and headed to the TARDIS.

"Good-bye, Doctor." England said out of the Doctor's earshot.

… … …

The Doctor, having just gone on a short adventure on his own, soon found himself back in the home of future England, though a year later than it'd been when the cybermen had invaded. He hadn't entirely meant to come but the TARDIS apparently was still malfunctioning.

England was not in his study at the time, so the Doctor decided to go looking for him.

The Doctor began searching but quickly found that he had no idea where England could be, he wasn't in the study or his room, and thank God he wasn't in the kitchen... the Doctor began to wonder if the nation was even at home.

"Doctor?" A voice soon dismissed his suspicions.

The Doctor smiled, "Oh hello England, you're looking better... mostly."

Which he really didn't. In fact, England looked significantly worse. He had lost a lot of weight from his already petite frame, so his clothes hung off him a lot more than before. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair seemed a little more frazzled than usual, indicating that he hadn't taken the Doctor's advice of laying off work.

England walked up to shake the Doctor's hand warmly, "Long time no see."

"Is it now?" The Doctor asked, and after a brief pause he continued, "I suppose it has been hasn't it... you really should have rested more."

"I'm fine, just having a few national issues within the empire is all." England replied.

The Doctor, of course, still didn't entirely understand the way that the nations worked and wasn't really reassured by the reply, "Sure you are," he rolled his eyes sarcastically, "And I'm the queen of England."

"Oh really?" England played along, "I'd never thought. Really, I'm fine."

The Doctor sighed, "What about a quick vacation, as an apology."

England smiled and replied exasperatedly, "I really would love that."

"Well then I suppose I'd do well to take you somewhere relaxing," The Doctor seemed to think about it for a moment, "Perhaps Apalapucia? It's a resort planet, second most visited in the universe. Or maybe the Eye of Orion, it's very-"

"I'd prefer somewhere without people... or aliens for that matter," England continued, "Just take me to my past. I know you're going to do it anyway."

"Well I probably wouldn't have if you hadn't said just now that I would, I really hate it when people do that you know, it creates fixed points..." The Doctor sighed, "So your past then, that's vague, you have an awful lot of 'past', when are we going to?"

"2013, a short while after the Martian invasion of London. Wow that was so long ago..."

"Actually they weren't Marti- ah that's not really important," The Doctor replied, "Well 2013 then... should be simple enough. Shall we be off?"

"Yes, just let me grab something." England walked off but quickly returned with his 'holo-phone', "Ready."

* * *

**Cast:**

**The 9th Doctor: Me**

**England: DOF-san**

**Unnamed mortician: Me**

**Future England (3013): DOF-san**

**Future England (3014): DOF-san**


	6. You'll Understand When You're Older

**And reeeeallly long chapter time, but it seemed like a good idea to not cut it off until we reached something that actually felt conclusive for once. Besides it's not like long chapters are a bad thing. And the end of this chapter marks the beginning of the main plot... as well as the end of the Doctor being a regularly occurring character in this story.  
DOF-san wanted to make this clear to you wonderful readers, so I'll use her exact words, "_I'd like to make a note on 'Queen Amelia I', we know that's not the Queen of England. But honestly, would she work in this story? Not really. So, we're not just ignorant of who the Queen is. Amelia is fiction~ ^-^ No offence to you lovely Brits~_"  
****Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 5, "You'll Understand When You're Older":**

England had been in his study when he heard the tell-tale sounds of the TARDIS materializing. A faint gust of wind accompanied the sound, causing the papers on his desk to rustle proving that it wasn't simply his imagination.

Soon the timelord had stepped out and energetically proclaimed, "Ah, here we are! Earth, England, London, your house. 2013."

"Hello, Doctor." Present England said as his future-self stepped out of the TARDIS, "And hello... me?"

"Why hello England," The Doctor smiled innocuously, "I hope you don't mind, this is when and where he said we'd wind up being anyway, can't argue with history."

"Alright, but why did you bring him here?" Present England asked, earning a look from Future England.

"He needed a vacation," The Doctor replied plainly, "Well not that you don't also need one, but just look at him he really needs it, and this is where he wanted to go."

"Well... more where we had to go," Future England added.

"Ah." Present England replied in understanding, "Well, I can show you... or, um, me..." He struggled with the proper pronoun for his future-self, "to a guest bedroom."

"This house hasn't changed so drastically that I don't remember where my own guest rooms were, thank-you-very-much," Future England replied with a hint of disdain sneaking into his voice.

2013 England looked to 3014 England in confusion, "Fine then..."

Future England walked off down a corridor, leaving Present England and the Doctor alone.

"By the way I've been wondering... not too long ago from your perspective..." The Doctor trailed off, "A captain by the name 'Arthur Kirkland' died when those aliens invaded London, correct?"

"Oh... Um... That was me, Doctor." England confessed unsurely.

"It was? Really?" The Doctor asked, looking closely at England as he tried to remember what Arthur Kirkland had looked like.

"Er... yes." England shifted slightly under the Doctor's stare, "I didn't think that you had met me yet, so I kept my identity a secret."

"Good, because I hadn't," The Doctor replied, "Time can be rewritten, but often it's better not to try... anyway, where'd you get the name from, it sounds familiar..."

"Oh, it's my human name. I'm passed off as a Captain in the British Army."

"And you've always had the same name?" The Doctor asked curiously, "A bunch of different captains throughout history that share the same name and look alike? It really is a wonder that I didn't discover you before!"

Not that the Doctor was any better, always using the name 'John Smith' if anyone insisted on knowing his name. Though he at least changed appearances from time to time and skipped random chunks of history. Having remained undiscovered despite keeping the same name and appearance through linear time was actually quite a feat.

"Eh... I lay low for a while when I've been something for too long... I try really hard to keep the same name... and the MI6 keep my true identity hidden quite well."

The Doctor laughed at the thought, "Really though? The same name all through history? That's amazing! I've never been able to keep a low profile for so long, somehow everyone always seems to figure out about me, it's a pain really."

"Why do you think that I live so far back into the forest? Keeping a low profile is something that you have to learn to do as a nation. Unlike France who, when someone discovers he's abnormal, says a 'romantic' riddle and nation hops away, I am very good at keeping suspicions low."

"Nation hop?" The Doctor repeated curiously.

"It's a thing that we nations can do. You concentrate very hard on another place and you can sort of teleport there, but it drains energy so we shouldn't try to go too far in one jump." England explained.

"I see so a sort of short-range teleportation you can use because you're connected to the land?" The Doctor summarized.

"Yes, and it can go long range, it's just extremely exhausting if you go really far."

"By short range I just meant that it's restricted to this planet," The Doctor corrected, "I don't suppose any of you have ever tried to reach the moon or somewhere else?"

"No, but I don't believe that it would work. You have to visualize where you are going, and I've never been to the moon. Also, you would probably be out for days from fatigue, maybe weeks if you tried that far."

"It wouldn't be too hard to visualize, I mean astronauts have taken plenty of pictures of it's surface by now... though I suppose that fatigue and the lack of oxygen could pose a problem, even for you," The Doctor replied in a joking tone.

"Yes, I suppose that it would." England replied smiling.

The Doctor also smiled, "Oh, is there anywhere better I could park the TARDIS? I suppose I'll have to stay here while your future self is here so that I don't accidentally forget about him and leave him stranded... You wouldn't mind would you?"

"Of course, where are my manners, you can have a guest bedroom as well." England replied eagerly.

"That's good, could you show me where one is?"

"Naturally." England turned toward the hall that his future-self went down, "This way."

Present England led the Doctor to a guest room a few doors down from the one that Future England had chosen. England pulled a ring of keys out of his pocket and filed through them. He eventually chose a key, unlocked, and opened the door, "Here we are."

"Ah, fantastic! I'll go back and bring the TARDIS here then," The Doctor stated as he hurried back down the hallway from which he came. Soon the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing could be heard from the study but it wasn't long before the sound began to overlap with that of it appearing in the guest room. The Doctor stepped out, "Ah good, I got the coordinates right!"

"It would appear so." Future England commented as he stepped into the doorway of the Doctor's guest room.

"I'm a bit surprised, with the way the helmic regulator's been acting lately I half expected to land on Raxacoricofallapatorius this time," The Doctor replied smoothly.

Future England made a sound of acknowledgement as he turned to examine the door, "I haven't used these in ages!" He commented, getting a strange look from his past-self.

"What do you mean, the guest room?" Present England asked, confused.

"No, not the rooms, the doors," Future England replied, the sarcasm in his voice making it rather difficult to tell if he actually meant it or not, "It's actually very uncommon for houses to have working doors in my time. This is really quite nostalgic."

"Wh-...?" Present England furrowed his brow in confusion, "Why?"

"Well most people are perfectly content with just teleporting to whatever room they feel like, doors have become outdated," Future England explained as though it were the most obvious course for humanity to have taken as technology improved.

"Interesting..." Present England replied, eyeing Future england suspiciously as he examined the door.

"Oh, I suppose I shouldn't really be telling you anything about the future, you'll get to see for yourself after all," Future England chuckled, smiling a bit at his past self.

"... Well, If you two are settled, I'm assuming that you, Doctor, are sleeping in the TARDIS, I'm going to go make some tea." Present England said, ignoring his future self.

"I'd like a cup of tea as well, if you don't mind," The ignored future self asked somewhat politely.

"Alright, you as well, Doctor?" The present self asked ignoring the impoliteness of his future self.

"May as well," The Doctor replied, wondering just how good British tea made by the embodiment of England itself would taste.

Present England nodded and walked off to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, he came back carrying a tray with three cups of tea. Smiling, he set the tray on a nightstand in the Doctor's guest room and handed everyone a cup of Earl Grey.

Future England made a sound that startled his past self, "This is great! It's not instant, is it?"

"Doesn't taste like it," The Doctor replied after taking a sip.

"Of course not! I would never drink instant tea!" Present England responded indignantly.

"Never say never..." Future England muttered.

"What?" Present England asked.

Future England let out a sad sigh, "It's just... instant tea is really convenient and I don't have the time to make real tea these days... but I can't just go through a day without any tea at all."

Present England was at a loss for words, his future sounded awful! He sipped his tea and thought it over.

Future England remained silent and did the same.

"You two get along surprisingly well," The Doctor commented seemingly out of the blue.

"...I suppose." 2013 England said after a brief pause, thankful that the Doctor was trying to change the subject.

"Anytime that I've ever crossed my own timeline I'd always immediately start arguing with myself over the stupidest things, but the two of you... it's just odd."

The two Englands exchanged glances as they sipped their tea simultaneously.

The Doctor suppressed a shiver, "Honestly, this shouldn't be happening... a thousand years and you've hardly changed. Not to mention that nothing's going wrong even though you've been crossing your own timeline like crazy. It's actually kind of amazing."

Present England was the first to speak, "Yes, it is. A lot happens in one-thousand years. I'm surprised as well."

"I guess I wouldn't know," The Doctor laughed a bit, "I'm not quite a thousand years old yet. Though I'd like to think I've already seen a lot."

Future England chuckled.

"You laughing at me old man?"

Future England smiled, "Hey! I'm only a little over three-thousand." He retorted jokingly.

"That's still over three times my age," The Doctor joked, "Thought I guess I'm still pretty young for a Timelord."

"Well, I'm not the youngest nation, but certainly not the oldest. There are a lot of nations much older than me."

"Perhaps I'll meet one of the older ones some day," The Doctor shrugged.

"Why do you talk like that?" Present England chimed in, looking to his future self.

"Talk like what?" The later England asked.

"So... er... much more American in grammar."

"Hmm... Do I really? I hadn't ever noticed..." Future England replied. He seemed quite angry at the mention of America but tried to hide it.

Present England could tell that America was a sore subject and didn't press further, "So, exactly how old can Timelords live to be, Doctor?"

The Doctor didn't really see why England was changing the subject but answered anyway, "Well each regeneration can live up to ten thousand years if you can survive that long, and we each have thirteen regenerations."

"That's 130,000 years! Amazing."

"It's also possible to get extra regenerations… but even with that I don't think anyone actually ever made it that long," The Doctor sighed. After all he himself was just reaching nine hundred years (give or take a century or two as it was becoming rather difficult to keep track what with all his time-space travel) with only three regenerations left.

"Oh..." Present England took another sip of his tea, "So, I've been wondering, how is your TARDIS so much bigger on the inside?"

"Timelord technology," The Doctor replied proudly, "Basically the inside is sealed in another dimension."

"So, similar to magic?" Present England asked eagerly.

"Magic? Of course not, like I said it's technology."

"Yes, but the same could be done with magic."

"Magic doesn't exist," The Doctor replied.

Future England scoffed indignantly but kept sipping his tea.

"Of course it does!" Present England replied a little angrily.

"I've never seen such a thing as 'magic' in all of my travels that wasn't simply a trick."

"Then you simply did not go to the right places."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "I've been to places you could only imagine, seen stars born and watched them die, I've seen mountains made of diamond, a planet where they communicate with nothing but their eyebrows (they'd probably love you there), I have seen time both from before you were born and after you'll have died, but I have never seen real magic."

"So, I can assume that you've never been to Otherworld, then?"

"From celtic mythology? Of course not."

"Ah, but it is the most backwards and mad place that you could ever imagine. My brothers and I have gone there many times."

"Perhaps you stumbled upon a gap in the universe's causality and were temporarily transported to a different planet and you simply thought it was another world?"

"No, we weren't. We didn't go to 'another world', we went to _the Otherworld_."

"Then please, by all means show me this other world."

"Er... I don't like to go there without a proper reason, and it does take a toll on us nations. Being there for an hour means an entirely different amount of time here. And coming back, say, a few days later means that we missed a few days of sleep. I said we're connected to the land. However, you, Doctor, would probably be fine." Present England explained.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes for a bit as if to say 'basically you can't prove it then' before returning to his usual expression, "hm... I wonder. I see time differently than humans do, I wonder how it would be for me if such a thing existed as this 'otherworld' of yours."

"Trust me, you don't want to stay there any longer than necessary. I could still show you magic, though."

"Oh? Then please do."

"Well, what would you have me do?"

The Doctor seemed to think for a moment, "Well what can you do?"

Present England looked to his future self who had finished his tea, "...anything, really."

"What are you looking at me for? I can't help. Magic's been illegal for me since after the magic revolution," Future England stated as he put down the teacup.

Present England's eyes widened, "You mean to say that I can't use magic in the future?"

Future England gave a curious look as if wondering which 'I' England had been referring to and explained, "Hmm? No, the taboo only applies to those present at the time it was cast and anyone born afterwards, the current you could use it no matter what year it is but I can't even now... well I could but it's better that I don't."

"D-... that's what I meant! You're me!"

"Yes, I'm you, but you're not me, not yet at least," Future England replied casually.

"Eh-... I-..." Present England gestured to his future self, and looked at the Doctor.

The Doctor and Future England both looked at each other for a moment then both looked back at present England, together they replied, "You'll understand when you're older."

Present England made a face halfway between confusion and anger while opening and closing his mouth repeatedly without saying any proper words.

"So what's this Magic Revolution you mentioned just now?" The Doctor asked Future England curiously, having never witnessed such a time-period in all the time he'd spent on Earth.

Future England hesitated, thinking perhaps he'd already said too much, but then again if the Doctor was asking there probably wasn't any harm in answering, "It's basically exactly what it sounds like. It happens about four hundred years from now."

Meanwhile, present England had finally settled on closing his mouth and listening to the two other people in the room before asking, "Really? That must have been fun."

"Not exactly, people kept using magic and it really got out of hand," Future England replied, "It's why I had to set up the taboo in the first place."

"Wait, you set it up? Am I that much better at magic in the future?" Present England again asked eagerly.

"It was just a simple spell to set up a taboo on the use of magic all across the planet, nothing too complicated," Future England shrugged despite his bragging tone.

Present England's jaw dropped, but he soon realized this, closed his mouth, and looked at the the Doctor.

"I don't really see what's so impressive. As far as I'm concerned magic isn't real until I've actually seen some," The Doctor said in reply to England's apparent amazement.

Present England frowned slightly, "I must show you tomorrow. First, I have to see what spell I would want to demonstrate and gather the ingredients."

"I'll be looking forward to it," The Doctor replied with a smile.

… … …

The Doctor was having trouble going to sleep... or at least that would have been his excuse if anyone had asked him why he was wandering aimlessly around England's house so late at night. He really didn't have a reason though.

He'd decided that he would look around the house to see where everything was, he wasn't being nosy, just exploring.

And there was plenty to explore. England's house was huge.

Of course he did respect England's privacy enough that he didn't bother to open locked doors even though he had his sonic screwdriver with him. Still even without the locked rooms there was a lot of stuff in England's house.

He'd kept all kinds of things that held historical significance or that just held memories for him personally. The Doctor could recognize some of them, like the pirate hat that he'd seen only a few days ago from his perspective, and various other things like that... the Doctor could understand why England had kept all of it, after all he himself kept a lot of things to remind him of the past.

He looked at the stuff like he was looking through a museum... it wasn't that interesting. He'd have much rather just gone back in time and seen what sort of significance the various bits and baubles had to England than stand there trying to imagine why the Brit would want to keep some of these things. He doubted he ever would though, after all, England apparently hadn't ever had a direct meeting with the Doctor before that time hardly a month ago.

The Doctor continued to look through rooms upon rooms of stuff until he eventually came across a room filled with magical equipment and a magic circle drawn on the floor in the basement.

The Doctor looked at it with a glare of judgement, "Magic isn't real. This is science. That over there is a science wand, and that's a science circle... it's all science."

Suddenly a stack of 'science' books fell over and giggled at the Doctor.

The Doctor immediately turned in the direction from which he'd heard the sound, "Who's there?"

There were more giggles as the books rearranged themselves into a neat stack again.

"What's so funny? And don't you say my face," The Doctor said, feeling a strange chill run down his spine.

There were a few more fading giggles before silence.

"Fine, don't answer me, see if I care!" The Doctor shouted quietly at the shifting shadows in the rooms, "I was just getting out of here anyway."

With that the Doctor returned to the guest room that he'd been granted and slipped into the TARDIS to go read a book or perhaps get a good nights rest.

… … …

The next morning, Present England sat in the kitchen having a cup of tea and talking to air when the Doctor got up.

"Now that wasn't nice." Present England said to... nothing?

"Good morning England," The Doctor said, ignoring the fact that England didn't appear to be talking to anything corporeal.

"Hmm?" England looked away from where he had been talking, "Oh, good morning, Doctor."

"Don't mind me, you can just keep talking to..." The Doctor trailed off, "Mind if I use your kitchen?"

"...Be my guest." England answered confusedly, he hadn't quite heard the first comment that the Doctor had made.

With that the Doctor proceeded to make breakfast for both himself and England. He hadn't cooked in a while, but having learned from a master cheif in France back in the eighteenth century he was still a fairly good cook.

"Here, not my best, but I had to work with what I had," The Doctor stated as he handed an very gourmet looking omelette to England.

"Oh, thank you, but you didn't have to cook for me, you're my guest." England looked at the _very_ French-looking dish, _Well, at least France didn't make it._

"It's the least I could do for just showing up out of nowhere and asking you to let me and your future self stay," The Doctor replied.

"Ah, well... I appreciate it." England took a bite of the omelet to find that... it was _very_ good.

England finished chewing, and asked the Doctor, "So, what were you doing in my... basement last night?"

The Doctor was surprised that England knew about that but didn't ask how, "... I couldn't sleep so I decided to explore."

"Oh, that's fine. I was just curious. Sorry about how the fays treated you." He took another bit of the omelet.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "You mean all that random giggling?"

"Yes, Madalin and Rosalin know better than that. They didn't scare you too bad, did they?" England replied after swallowing.

The Doctor laughed, "It takes a lot more than random giggling to scare me, England."

"Wait... you mean to say that you couldn't see them flying around and toppling over books?" England questioned.

"I saw the books fall over and then go back, but I never saw what did it, I nearly suspected vashta nerada until I heard giggling," The Doctor shrugged. Though it had been a bit of an unlikely suspicion, it was rare for enough vashta nerada to be in one place to be able to start moving things like that.

England sighed, "'Vashta nerada'?"

"It literally means 'shadow's that melt the flesh'. You know those specks of dust in the air?" The Doctor asked but didn't wait for a response, "They eat people sometimes."

England laughed, "Well, I assure you Madalin and Rosalin won't eat you anytime soon. They're quite nice, just a bit mischievous." England said jokingly.

"Nice to know."

"Sad you can't see them, though. It would have been nice if you could."

"I'm sure it would have been," The Doctor replied.

"... You do know what I'm talking about when I say fays, right?"

"Yes, of course I do," The Doctor replied, "'Fairies' right?"

"Yes, well, more or less." England replied as his future self arrived in the kitchen and sat down at the table without a word. "Well, good morning." Present England said hotly.

"Good morning Angleterre~" France said appearing from the hallway.

"Morning France," Future England replied in a sleepy tone, sounding a bit -only a bit- more awake as he continued, "Now make me an omelet and some tea."

"Euh..." France looked between both Englands, "Why are zere two of you...?"

"Two of me? What're you talking about, just make me an omelet you frog butler," Future England replied narrowing his eyes.

"Um..." Present England looked to his future self, "You're still here."

Future England paused, looking confused for a moment before he apparently regained his senses and remembered that he was no longer in his own time period, "Oh, bollocks..."

"France, get out of my house." Present England said quickly.

"I will not leave until I get to zee bottom of zis," France declared, looking suspiciously -and perhaps pervertedly- at the two Englands.

"Hello, random stranger over here, you're France I assume?" The Doctor chimed in, a bit annoyed that he'd been completely ignored.

"Bonjour... euh... 'oo are you?" France asked none too politely.

"I'm the Doctor."

France looked confused, "Doctor 'oo?"

"Just the Doctor," He smiled.

"'E one of your strange friends, Angleterres..?"

"More an acquaintance than a friend, I'd say," Future England muttered somewhat bitterly.

"And why is that?" Present England asked.

"Christmas. That's all I have to say about it."

Present England gave a confused look before France interrupted, "Ah, zat still doesn't explain why zere are two of you..."

Future England paused for a moment trying to think up a good excuse, "There aren't, you're just so much of a pervert that you're hallucinating an extra. I don't even want to imagine what you might try to do if there really were two of me."

Present England facepalmed and sighed, "Just get out."

France stood, extremely confused by this.

"France, if you won't leave voluntarily, I'll throw you out the window." Future England warned.

"You and what army?" The Frenchman asked sarcastically.

"That's it." Present England and the Doctor watched in awe as Future England literally threw France out of the nearest open window.

Present England's jaw dropped as he thought about how much strength was needed to do something like that, and his future self was ill.

"You know I told you to take it easy while you're still sick," The Doctor commented bluntly.

"That _was_ easy." Future England brushed his hands off, and, hiding a little smirk, closed the aforementioned open window.

"Yes but is it really smart to go around throwing people out windows when you're not well?"

"I assure you I'm well, and it was no real effort."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as he pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his jacket pocket and scanned Future England with it then proceeded to also scan Present England so he'd have a basis for comparison, "Nope not well at all... as far as I can tell at least."

Present England looked oddly at the 'sonic screwdriver', and Future England crossed his arms, "I'm fine, I assure you."

"I've spent an awful lot of time in England, I know you lot can be wonderful liars when you need to."

"Hey!" Present England exclaimed indignantly.

Future England, however ignored himself, "I really am, why would I lie about feeling okay?"

"Because you're prideful and hate looking weak?" The Doctor suggested.

Present England made an angry expression, and crossed his arms. A few moments later he silently picked up the dishes and cups from their breakfast, and placed them in the kitchen sink.

Future England was also silent for a moment before he continued, "I really am. I feel perfectly fine. I'm telling the truth, Doctor."

"Do you really think that? If you remember having been the you from this time you should know that you're not fooling anyone."

"I'm not trying to fool anyone, I honestly _know_ I'm fine."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Yeah I know, the only person you're really trying to fool is yourself. And you seem to have done a fantastic job of it."

Future England's giant eyebrows lowered a bit, forming a crease between his eyes, "Doctor, _I'm fine_."

"I guess there's no point in arguing when you're so insistent," The Doctor sighed.

When Future England stormed off to his guest room, Present England came to stand next to the Doctor, shaking his head, "Why do I have to be like that?"

"I would say 'because you're British' but I've been the same way in the past," The Doctor replied.

"At least at the _present_, I know when I'm sick."

"Maybe he's convinced himself he's over it, it's already been a year after all... then again he was denying that he wasn't okay the day it happened too..."

"I'm-... He's not. Countries don't recover from national issues within a year. If it were physical, it would be a different story.… What exactly happened, anyway?"

The Doctor's expression suddenly grew really sad, he hesitated to say it, "... He lost about a fifth of his population."

Present England stood staring surprisedly at the Doctor. He couldn't say any words to question or console him.

"Yeah... this trip is my attempt to apologize," The Doctor added when he noticed the shocked look on England's face.

'_Apologize'?_ England didn't voice the question, seeing as how upset it made the Doctor, and he didn't have the time to as the fays he had been talking to earlier came back.

Madalin went up to the, oblivious, Doctor, "Rosalin and I are sorry for scaring you..."

However, the Doctor neither saw nor heard her.

"Doctor." England said.

"Hmm? What is it England?"

"The fays say that they're sorry for scaring you." England said his face saddening a little at the Doctor not being able to see his long-time friends.

"Oh... uh... there's no need for them to apologize, I wasn't scared, just a bit surprised," The Doctor replied, noticing the sadness on England's face.

England watched the two fays float away to another part of his house silently.

… … …

Future England sat comfortably in his guest bedroom, he tried to watch TV, but got bored looking at reruns, considered new at the present, so he started to play with his holo-phone.

But... soon got bored of that as well, so he decided to go and take a nice, hot bath. He grabbed a pair of clean clothes from his past-self's room and towels from a closet down the hall. He also took his holo-phone with him, in case he needed something to occupy his time.

"Oh, England, what are you doing here? You were in your study just a moment ago."

Future England paused and turned around to see who spoke.

It was the current Queen, Amelia (the first). A relatively young queen for her time but quite so young as Amelia III had been when she'd taken up the crown. Queen Amelia continued to give future England an inquisitive look as she waited for his reply.

"Uhh... I thought I'd take a hot bath..." Future England tried to move his holo-phone under the towel as discreetly as possible.

"I was just curious as to how you could have gotten here before I did, I left before you after all," The Queen sated, but was quickly distracted by his 'discreet' hiding of the holo-phone, "Oh, what's that you have there?"

"Nothing." England tried to pass the Queen quickly down the hall, but she grabbed his shoulder.

"Come to think of it... you look a bit different than you usually do," She stated looking closely at him, "Did you get a haircut?"

"...Yes." He tried to walk, but was again stopped.

"No that's not it... maybe the eyebrows... no they're as bushy as ever," She muttered a bit to herself before finally coming to a conclusion, "You look absolutely dreadful, you know no one would blame you if you took a break every now and then, it must be stressful being a nation."

_That's what I'm trying to do._ "I'll think about it, please move." He said none-too politely.

"Alright, I suppose I'll see you later," The Queen replied, allowing him to pass. _Did I say something to upset him?_

Future England walked a little ways before he tripped, sending his clothes, towel, and... holo-phone sliding unto the floor in front of him.

The Queen went immediately to help Future England up, and he reluctantly allowed her to help. Once he was no longer on the ground she went about helping him pick up what he'd dropped, as she picked up the holo-phone she asked, "Is this what you were trying to hide before? What is it, if you don't mind my asking?"

"...A prop for a h- sci fi movie I'm helping with." He had to admit that he was a good liar, aside from the stutter

"Oh I see," Amelia giggled, "And I suppose you didn't want me to see it because it's embarrassing?"

"Actually... the movie's supposed to be a secret."

"Alright, I'll be sure not to tell anyone then."

"Mmm." England nodded, and took his things from the Queen. "Goodbye." He walked off to take a nice bath.

The Queen proceeded to go about her own business, walking down the hall in the opposite direction as the one in which Future England had gone.

"Oh... Good afternoon, your majesty." Present England gave a small bow.

"England? But didn't you just head to the bath?" The Queen inquired. _He's being formal again... what did I say to upset him before?_

"...uh... did I?" He suddenly realized that she must have met his future self, "Oh... um... I..." Present England couldn't come up with an excuse, "I'm sorry, your majesty, but I must go. Goodbye." England started to walk down the hall, but was stopped with the queen's hand on his shoulder.

"Is there something going on that I'm not aware of?" She asked her eyes narrowing, "... you don't look the same as you did before... you look... better."

"Uh... yes... I..." Present England stammered as his future self walked down the opposite end of the hall, unseen presently by the queen. "Um... excuse me, please."

"Ah, great." Future England moaned causing Queen Amelia to turn around.

"T-two of you?" The Queen stammered, "Wha-what's going on here?!"

3014 England looked to 2013 England and said, "I was wondering if you could show me how to use the taps again. I don't remember." He entirely ignored the confused queen.

"Answer me!" The Queen demanded, "What on Earth is going on here?!"

Future England sighed, "Go on, tell her." He motioned to his past self.

"What? Why me?" Present England questioned.

"Because I remember you doing so. Tell her." Future England said a bit angrily, "Then come show me how to use the taps."

The Queen looked at future England, raising an eyebrow, "How do you not even know how to use a tap, have you been living under a rock for the past... I don't know two or three centuries?"

Future England glared at her, "No, but if that's what you wish to call your own home. So be it."

With a sigh the Queen seemed to decide that it wasn't going to get her anywhere if she kept talking to him so instead she turned to Present England, "Would you please explain what's going on now, England?"

"...Um... He's me from the future." Present England confessed.

"Nice to meet you, again." Future England stated.

"Nice to meet you... again, too..." She replied before whispering to Present England, "And what is he doing here?"

"I can hear you, you know," Future England chimed in, "I'm here taking a little vacation, like you suggested. Now, _how do you use the taps?_"

"A vacation in the past? Is that common in your time?" She looked at Future England expectantly but he didn't reply, so she said, "You just twist it."

"Thank you. And no, it isn't." Future England walked off to actually take a bath this time.

"How can he not know how to use the tap?"

"He's from very far in the future, I guess he... I... forgot." Present England finally said.

"Why does he look so terrible?"

"National troubles. I don't know exactly."

After a brief pause the Queen replied, "Your future sounds like rubbish."

"I think so too." Present England looked to Queen Amelia, "Well, if you would excuse me, please, your majesty." England offered a small bow, and left.

Before he was out of earshot she simply said, "Good luck with whatever it is that's happening," and then went about what she had been doing.

… … …

The Doctor was bored.

It hadn't even been a week yet but he was already getting fidgety, he couldn't find anything to do. It was rare for him to stay in one time period for so long unless he had something to be doing and there was nothing.

Sure as far as Future England's vacation was concerned it was probably a good thing that nothing had happened, but for the Doctor it was dead boring.

Of course both Englands could tell that what was bothering the timelord, it was rather obvious after all.

Finally Future England spoke up, "You know Doctor, you can leave if you'd like. Just leave a note in your TARDIS to remind yourself to pick me up a few days from now or something like that."

The Doctor seemed to hesitate, "Well if you're okay with that then I suppose I'll get going then... see you in a few days."

"Yeah... see you then..." Future England said as he watched the Doctor walk down the hall. He had the feeling that he was forgetting something really important but he just shrugged it off as his past self walked into the room with a tea tray.

"Hmm... Where did the Doctor go?" Present England sat the tray of tea and fixings on a nearby table.

"He left, where he's gone is anyone's guess, I told him that he should just go ahead and save the world or whatever it is he does and pick me up later," Future England shrugged.

"Oh, are you sure that's a good idea? Who knows what you're capable of turning pear shaped."

"Well I'm sure he'll come by eventually just to chat even if he forgets I'm here, what's the worst that could happen until then?"

"Oh, I don't know. We could both completely screw up the fabric of time and space, but you make it sound like fun. Let's go cause paradoxes willy nilly. Maybe he'll find us if we leave a big enough trail. Just mess around a bit, show everyone my power of being able to do two things at once. 'Hey, did England finally figure out how to clone himself?' 'No, the other one's from the future.' 'Brilliant! Let's go interrogate him for answers to questions that we won't learn for another thousand years.' 'Yeah, It'll be fun!'" Present England stood hands on his hips after his little rant.

"Are you quite finished?" Future England rolled his eyes, "For one thing from what I've heard from the Doctor Time-space is more like a rug than just some flimsy old fabric, it's much more difficult to 'screw around' with it than one might think. Besides by definition a paradox is just an apparent contradiction, the fact that both of us are present at the same time and talking like this is already one big universal screw, oh but it's not really a contradiction at all because I remember all of this happening. I remember saying what you just said, and I remember hearing what I'm saying now, and I remember what's going to happen next..." Future England trailed off for a moment, as the memory of what was about to happen became less foggy, "... oh bollocks."

Then they heard it.

The tell tale 'Vworrrp Vworrrrp' sound that signaled the arrival of the TARDIS. Suddenly the blue box was right beside the two Englands, the door opened and the Doctor shouted.

"Sorry, I know it hasn't been long but we've got an emergency, it's a code mauve. I've got to get you home before anything happens."

With that The Doctor grabbed Present England, mistaking him for Future England (as present England hadn't been in the room when he left) and taking him into the TARDIS.

"Hey! Put me down!" Present England exclaimed as he was unceremoniously thrown into the TARDIS.

"Sorry England, no time to explain, I've got to get you back to 3014 right away," The Doctor summarized as he quickly shut the doors and began to rush around pushing buttons and pulling levers.

Present England got up and brushed himself off Britishly, but before he had the chance to tell the Doctor that he was the wrong England, he was roughly shoved out of the TARDIS.

"Right then, out you go, pip pip cheerio, see you later and all that," The Doctor said quickly, as he closed the doors again and went on his way to handle the code mauve.

Present England was left speechless, alone, and lost in this new time.

"Jolly."

* * *

**Cast:**

**The 9th Doctor: Me**

**England: DOF-san**

**Future England: Shared**

**Queen Amelia I: Me**

**France: Shared**


	7. Yr Wyf Yn Dweud Sillafu Hwn, A Profi!

**Another really long chapter. A lot of them should be around this general length from now on. Also be sure to keep on the look out for subtle foreshadowing there's quite a lot in this chapter that will at first seem like an unimportant detail that is actually a sign of what will be happening chapters and chapters away from here or is simply hidden in a seemingly meaningless scene.  
****Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 6, ****"Yr wyf yn dweud sillafu hwn, a Profi!":**

Future England stood amazed.

Sure, he'd known that this was going to happen but he hadn't remembered until the very last moment and then it was too late to really do anything about it... not that he probably could have even done anything about it anyway. After all if he'd prevented it then what would happen to the current him and his memories?

Would his memories be overwritten? But if that happened then how would he know to do whatever he'd done to stop this England swap from happening? He didn't know the answer to that... and probably never would. Not that it mattered.

The real question is what he would be expected to do in the past until... actually he didn't know when he was going to be picked up. From what he could remember his future self was already gone when he got back... he'd always wondered what happened...

He gave the TV an odd look, contemplating whether or not he should turn it on (assuming he could even remember how)... he'd already seen most anything worth watching that could potentially come on, they were already considered 'classic' or 'retro' by his time and had been revived, remade, and holo-fied -many of them more than just once. He decided not to bother with the TV.

But then what else could he do to entertain himself in the twenty-first century? What had he done when he'd been his past self? He couldn't remember, how was he supposed to remember with all the paperwork he'd always had to do.

Paperwork... now that was an idea. But he wasn't so bored that he was going to resort to doing his own past self's paperwork, besides, he hadn't 'written' on real paper since the invention of holo-technology just after the Magic revolution... his handwriting was probably atrocious by now. The fact that he knew his past self wasn't going to do any of his future holo-work only reinforced his decision to not do any himself.

He glanced at the tea tray that his past self had brought only minutes before becoming temporally displaced.

"I guess I'll have a cup of tea... I can figure out what to do after that," He started to fix the tea but then suddenly paused, "I'm talking to myself... well, I guess I was before too, but there's only one of me now... and I'm _still_ talking to myself. I must be going mad, I suppose it was bound to happen some day. It just took a few thousand years."

He continued to mutter to himself growing darker and more sarcastic in tone as he got back to fixing his tea.

… … …

Present england stood on the street corner where he had been left. He tried to orient himself, but found that very difficult with the future surroundings. And there wasn't even anyone to ask directions, the entire street was empty, and none of the buildings had doors.

"I guess I'll just have to wander around a bit." England told himself. He was known for his supposed habit of talking to himself, but he was usually talking to magical creatures. He rarely ever was actually talking to himself... apart from the past month.

He walked down the deserted street for some time. Eventually, he found a building with a door.

It was a teleporter shop. England remembered his future self owning a teleporting watch... and not using doors...

However, England had no money that would still be currency in this time. He looked around the shop at all the different forms of teleporters, and watched a person buy one with, what looked to be some sort of a credit card. _Do they not use paper money anymore?_

Present England sighed and left the shop, earning an angry look from the owner for not buying anything, and a confused look from everybody else for, unknown to him, walking.

He wandered the streets a bit more until they thinned out to a view of a mansion set atop a hill. His home.

"Finally!"

England ran up the hill as far and fast as he could until he got exhausted, but eventually he made it up.

Then was immediately faced with another problem.

Not using doors meant that they didn't use the front door either.

"Oi!" England rapped loudly on the door, "Let me in, please!"

After a few moments a familiar voice could be heard from the other side of the door, "England? But what are you doing inside the 'door'?"

"I'm not 'inside the door'! I'm outside the house, let me in."

"Well what're you doing out there, just teleport back in already if you want in."

"Aht- I don't have a teleporter!" England stammered angry that no one planned to let him in.

"How'd you get out there without your teleporter?"

England growled, "I walked. Obviously."

"You walked? Wow I knew you were old fashioned but this one takes the cake!"

"Ugh... Just bloody let me in!"

"How am I'm supposed to do that? You don't even have your teleporter with you!"

"OPEN THE BLASTED DOOR!"

"They open?"

"Yes, they open." England growled, trying to control his temper, "Turn the knob and push."

"I don't know about that... but I'll try..." After a brief moment the door started to creak open, "Holy- It actually opened!"

England grew impatient and pulled to door open, only to find that it was Queen Amelia III standing there, "Oh, I- I'm _so_ sorry, your majesty! If I had known it was you, I wouldn't have been so rude."

"Oh you're back, I don't know why I thought you were England... you're his hot friend, right?" The Queen asked, though it wasn't really much of a question, as she ignored England's apology having not really taken any offence to begin with.

"Uhh... I am England, your majesty. I was before, also." England blushed slightly at being called hot... again, even if it was by his future queen.

"But you can't be England, you're too attractive!" She complained, "Besides, if you were also England then how come you two were able to be in the same place at once?"

"Ehh... We talked about this last time I was here." England said hesitantly, "May I come in, please?"

"Oh right, of course you may."

England stepped in, closed, and locked the front door, "Well, I do believe I'm stuck here for a while."

"I most certainly hope so," The Queen replied happily.

England blinked, "Why..?"

"Well you're just so handsome and... well..." She trailed off for a bit but then continued, "Well England won't admit it but he's been sick lately, he could probably use all the friends he can get."

"He's in the present in place of me. I suppose someone will notice." England confessed, "And... could you please stop calling me handsome...?"

"What? He's in a present? Who wrapped him up?" The Queen asked, not really registering England's request.

England squinted, "I assure you that no one 'wrapped him up'." England said, not quite understanding what the queen meant, "The Doctor accidentally switched us, and I don't think that he knows it."

"Oh, so the Doctor did it? Then it'll work itself out in the end," She replied cheerfully, "Until then, I get you instead of that boring old fuss-face?"

"Uh... I suppose?"

"Wonderful, let's have some tea!"

"...Alright." England couldn't refuse tea.

… … …

Having already finished off his tea Future England had no idea what he was going to do now. He'd even checked the TV (still boring), he was beginning to seriously think about doing his past-paperwork, but then there was a knock on the door.

"HEEEY! Iggy!" A loud, easily recognisable voice said, "Lemme in, dude."

"Of course it had to be him," Future England muttered darkly to himself as he got up off the couch and walked to the door, with a loud sigh he announced, "I'm coming!"

America greeted him with a big grin, and walked in uninvited, "So how are you, dude?"

"I'd be better if you weren't here," Future England rolled his eyes.

"Aww, but I like to come visit you! Iggy, lighten up." America said.

"Fine, what're you here for anyway?"

"What, the hero can't just come for a visit?"

"Lately you've only come to harass me about-... look, do you have a reason, or not?" England corrected himself.

"Nope! I just kinda felt like coming over," America said with a shrug.

Future England groaned and rubbed his temples, "Why did you have to be so annoying?"

"Why 'did' I? Iggy you're talking weird," America commented suspiciously.

"Well, I'm a little overworked, alright?"

America looked at him for a moment, noticing of course that he looked terrible, "Yeah I can tell, why don't you take a break then? Let's go see a movie or something!"

"Like I would go anywhere with you! Besides, I'm fine."

"Come on! We never do anything together!"

"And I wouldn't want to. I hate you." England replied.

"What? But you can't hate me! I'm the Hero!" America complained loudly, "No one hates the Hero!"

"I 'hate the hero'. You have no right to criticize me." England growled, tired of the obnoxious American.

"Eh?" America said, suddenly confused, "I'm not trying to criticize you or anything dude."

England squinted taking in how America looked, he definitely looked different the he did in the future. England sighed, trying to make himself remember that this was past America, but that didn't help, "Not yet."

"What? You're getting mad about something I haven't even done yet? Dude, that's not fair! How can you even know I'm gonna do something if I haven't done it yet!"

England's eyebrows lowered lowered in anger, "BECAUSE I'M FROM THE BLOODY FUTURE YOU TWAT!" England's temper exploded, "GOD! Do you know how _grating_ your voice is?! Why, in no time line, can you LEAVE ME _ALONE_!?"

"What you're from the future?! That's Awesome!" America shouted excitedly, "Did you come back to save the world from bad guys? You can tell me, I'm the Hero after all!"

"DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME!? OR CAN YOU NOT GET IT THROUGH YOUR _THICK_ HEAD!? LEAVE ME ALONE! I didn't come to 'save the world from bad guys'! I'm _stuck _here! And in your eyes, I'm the bad guy!" England yelled.

"Dude, I don't know what I did in the future to rub you the wrong way, but I haven't done it yet so calm down," America said, shrinking back a bit from England's yelling, "Feel free to punch my future self or something if I've done something wrong but don't take it out on me when I haven't even done anything yet."

England breathed angrily, taking in America's surprisingly truthful words. Finally after a moment he gave up, and heavily sat down on the couch.

America sat down next to him, "So... uh... what are you doing here... er now?"

"...I came back for a vacation, but the Doctor accidentally switched me and this time's England when he meant to put me back where I belong." England said, still a bit angry.

"The Doctor huh... well that guy can be a bit weird," America said with a shrug, "I'm sure you'll get back to your time though, he wouldn't just leave you stranded."

"I don't know, my future self was gone when I got back. I don't know what I do." England looked to America angrily, "But don't think just because we can talk like this means I don't still have a grudge against you."

"Man, what did my future self do to get you this mad at me?" America asked, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

England growled slightly, "I suppose it's more what _I _did."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm an empire... again." England said hesitantly. "And you don't agree with imperialism."

America suddenly stood up, his eyes wide with shock, he hadn't even really heard the last part of what England had said, "What! An _empire_! Why would you do that? Are you stupid!?"

"See? This is what I'm talking about." England groaned.

America furrowed his brow, he opened his mouth to shout again, to yell at England about just how stupid it was that he'd become an empire, but then just sighed and sat back down, "but... what if you lose it again..."

England flinched slightly, "I won't." England didn't want to think what would happen to his mental state if he did, remembering the first time, "Why didn't you yell at me again?" He asked trying to change the subject, and also satisfy his curiosity.

America surprisingly picked up on England's desire to change the subject and answered, "I figured that my future self must have done enough yelling for both of us. It's your empire, even if I don't agree with it I can't really complain if I don't even know the full story yet."

England took a hard look at America. He had never heard him talk like that about his empire. "I wish you would stay like this, but we both know how _that_ turned out last time I said it." England looked away, he hadn't thought about America's colonial days in centuries.

"Oh... are you still upset about that?" America asked somewhat shyly.

"How can I be? It hadn't crossed my mind, until now, for at least 500 years..."

"How far in the future are you from?" America asked, getting curious again, "I don't think that the current you is quite over it yet..."

"3014 C.E.," England couldn't look at the American, "or 3014 A.D. in this time."

"So that's like... a thousand years? Whoa, that's a really long time," America replied.

"One-thousand and one, actually." England replied, still not looking at the American.

America's brow furrowed, "What? Is there something weird on my face?"

"No." England said, barely looking at America, "Nothing's wrong. I just-..." He trailed off.

"You just what? I'm not going to judge you so just go ahead and say it!"

"No! Ugh... why do you have to pry so much!? LEAVE ME ALONE!" England stood up and turned his back to America.

"I don't know! I just can't leave you alone, I don't really know why but, I think you shouldn't be left alone… that's the feeling I get," America said, he had also stood up but didn't make any effort to get in front of England.

England didn't move, he just stood there with his back to America, "Why do you have to always try to 'be the hero'? You have-... You..." England stammered, he couldn't blame him like he did future America. He was out of options with him.

"Well... someone has to be the hero, right?" America asked, "I mean if there's no hero who's going to protect all the little people who can't protect themselves? Sure it doesn't always go well for the hero, but someone has to take the role."

England suddenly turned around, "Well, I'm the big, bad, imperialist villain then."

America frowned, he wasn't really sure what to say. For a moment there was nothing but silent tension between the two of them, and then America spoke up, "You just don't want to be alone... right?"

England froze, but kept the same angered look, "What happens if I lose my empire again? That happens, I'm alone, and no one will be there for me. Not this time."

"Then why even have an empire?" America asked, "You and I both know you won't be able to hold on to it forever, something will happen... -the way you look right now, it might already be happening- you'll lose someone and then they'll all fall like dominoes. Why did you even try, if you think you'll be alone when it's all said and done?"

England seethed with anger, "IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE! NO ONE, NOT EVEN YOU, NOT EVEN _FRANCE_, WILL STAY AROUND ME WILLINGLY ANYMORE! I'M NOT LOSING MY EMPIRE! I _CAN'T_. IF NATIONS WILL ONLY STAY AROUND ME BY FORCE, _SO BE IT_."

"...England...You're just pushing everyone away..." America stated, unable to help being a bit surprised by England's outburst. What was the future like if England felt like he had to force others to be around him…. but America was even more worried about what had happened to his own future self to not have been trying to help England.

"Honestly, I suppose. When I had my empire the first time, there were other nations after you- after the '_new world'_. But the world has been explored. No new nations this time. 'Let's just let mad old England_rot_' is what they'll say. I'll probably get locked up in a home somewhere. But you know what? _I'm. Not. Letting. That. Happen_." England said through clenched teeth.

"You're not alone!" America shouted, suddenly sounding angry, "Even if you don't get along with me in the future, even if some stuff that I don't know about has happened and I even think that I hate you or say that I do, there's no way that I would let that happen! I _couldn't_ let it happen!"

"We'll see how that works out. Yeah, I see it now; Everyone walking away from me, and I reach out to you as a last hope," England scowled, "'_Serves you right, England.'_"

America shook his head and gave a faint smile, "Even if I'm angry at you I'd take your hand and I'd do whatever I could to help you... that's what heroes are for."

England's face twitched, "Really, really now? So that's what you did during the American Revolution? 'Took my hand and did whatever you could to help me'?" England waited for a response, but got none, "Well?!"

America shied back. He really couldn't think of anything he could say to answer that without sounding like a hypocrite.

"'Because that's what _Heroes do_.'"

Now America was getting angry, "Heroes protect whoever needs protecting! That was a time when you had everything! This and that are completely different matters!"

"Was it now? Gee, that sounds nothing like what the current situation is. I'm at a height of power, gaining territories, and I have everything." England said lightly sarcastic, doing a weighting hand motion between the two matters, "Nope. Two completely different circumstances."

"We're talking about what's going to happen when it all falls apart, in case you forgot."

"No, I didn't forget because it _won't fall apart_!" England clenched his teeth, "This, right here, is why I can't have a _civil conversation_ with you in the future. This, right here, is why you'll _leave me too_."

America stayed quiet for a moment, fuming, "... Fine! You want me to leave? I'll fucking leave you to marinate in your grumpy depression! It was nice talking to you, hope to see you again sometime. Really. This was so. Much. Fun."

With that the American stormed out of the room heading towards the door, but not without saying one final thing.

"That future sounds stupid! I'll make sure none of that happens!"

There was the sound of a door slamming shut.

England stood there silently for a few moments, not noticing the hot tears running down his own cheeks.

"Why?" England chuckled, realizing what he had just done.

This conversation just now must have been the motivation behind America's adamant opposition to his empire in the future… if it hadn't been for this conversation, or if perhaps if this conversation had been a bit more friendly then maybe -though he still was bound to oppose the idea- the two of them would still have been on civil terms in the future.

But no. The conversation had happened and now America was determined to change the future… only to inevitably become disappointed when all his efforts proved futile. The two of them would argue and fight about imperialism and hypocrisy until eventually the negative emotions between them far outweighed the positive, and that would be when they began to avoid each other...

Sitting down on the couch he said, "Why am I so stupid?" England chuckled a bit more, "I'm the cause of my own problems. Maybe I need to be locked up."

… … …

England followed Queen Amelia III to a small sitting room. "Would you like me to make some tea, your majesty, or have you already made some?"

"I'll go make some," She replied with a smile.

"...Alright." England said, watching the queen skip off to make tea. _Why is she so young again?_

After a few minutes (but not nearly long enough to make proper tea) the queen returned and set a tea tray on the table with two good-looking cups of tea. She quickly fixed her own cup and began to sip it.

England quickly fixed his own cup to precisely how he enjoyed it. He raised the cup to his lips, but before taking a sip, smelled the hot steam coming off of it. It was black, British blend tea, but it smelled... off. Ignoring that fact, because it may just be the slight difference in how tea is made in the future, England took a sip.

...And immediately did a spit take all over Queen Amelia III.

"This tea is terrible! Oh..." He saw the damp queen, "I'm so, _so_ sorry, your majesty. Let me get you something to c-"

"I'm quite alright," The Queen interrupted, and though she seemed perfectly civil England could hear the anger and bitterness in her voice as she got up and began to walk away, "I'll go wash up myself."

England sat terribly embarrassed, he couldn't help wonder why the tea was so awful, though.

He set down his cup, and got up to investigate what had happened to the tea.

England walked into a small kitchen and saw the cause of his distaste. It was instant. _Why!? Certainly there is normal tea here._ He opened the cupboards and found containers of 'tea' that went into the 'tea making machine'.

He searched the rest of the cupboards, silverware, plates, cups, a pot or two. Finally he came to a locked cabinet. "Why would someone lock a cupboard in a kitchen?" England said oddly.

It was a simple lock, easy to open. _But why a lock, certainly there's a better way of keeping valuables safe in the future...right?_

England looked around for something to pick it with. Then he saw slip of paper sticking out of the bottom of the cupboard, and pulled it out. It read "Here you nosy twat" and had a key taped to it. _I wonder who left this._ England thought sarcastically.

England took the key off the slip of paper, and unlocked the cupboard.

It. Was. Filled. With Tea.

_Real_ tea.

England happily grabbed a box of Earl Grey, and promptly made proper tea for himself and the queen.

When he returned with the cups, Queen Amelia III had already returned.

"Going to try again are you?" She asked, clearly still a bit miffed after having hot tea spilled on her.

"I'm _terribly_ sorry. I really am, it's just that... who drinks _instant _tea?" England placed a cup in front of her, "So, I made proper tea."

The Queen looked a bit surprised, "How on Earth did you get into England's cupboard? I've never been able to figure out how to open the thing!"

"...I used the key he left me.." England confessed, taking a sip from his own cup and smiling.

"Hm... I wonder why he'd do such a thing," The Queen smiled as she took a sip herself, "Tea like this is pretty hard to come by, England's been hoarding it away in different parts of the house since before I became queen, that old geezer's stash is probably a fourth of what's left in England."

England looked extremely surprised, "Wot? You mean to say they don't make normal tea anymore!?"

"Of course not, everyone's too lazy to brew it so why even make the stuff," The Queen shrugged.

England looked horrified. He couldn't imagine life without tea anymore. He may have been one of the last countries in Europe to get tea, but he was certainly _not_ giving it up!

He silently sipped the remainder of his tea.

… … …

England had calmed down significantly since America had left, but he still had nothing better to do than sit around on the couch and stare at the ceiling. So that's exactly what he was doing when he heard a knock on the door.

"Another visitor?" England mumbled under his breath, approaching the door, "Yes? Who is it?"

"Oi! Arty, It's ya brother!" A loud Scottish voice said, "Open up!"

_Him of all other people?_ England thought, letting out a sigh as he opened the door, "And what do _you_ want?"

Scotland took a drag on his ever present cigarette, "Got stuck with the short straw. So it was decided that I should come and check on ya."

"Well I'm doing fine, there's no need for anyone to be checking up on me, I assure you," England replied coldly as he contemplated shutting the door in the Scotsman's face right then and there.

"Good, bye then. I really didn't want to be here anyway. Got more important things to do than be ya babysitter." Scotland started walking away, "Oh, incase you're wonderin', your Jessie was the one who told us ya weren't well."

"Of course he was..." England rolled his eyes ignoring that Scotland was saying that America was his girl. _America's going around doing unnecessary things..._

Scotland immediately nation hopped away. _Of course he told my brothers._

England shut the still open door, slamming it a bit harder than he'd was glad that his brother hadn't stayed for long enough to start noticing that he was acting strange, but at the same time almost wished that he had stayed if only so that he would have something to do in talking to him.

He made his way back to the couch and plopped down lazily.

"Bonjour, Angleterre~" France popped up behind the couch, playing with England's hair.

England visibly flinched away from France, shouting, "Wh- what are you doing here!?"

"I came to 'drop by' and see 'ow you were doing." France said casually, as though it was entirely normal for him to be in England's home. He walked around and sat down gracefully on the couch next to England.

"But when did you- oh never mind I couldn't care less when you got here," England sighed, he didn't feel like arguing... at least he had someone to talk to now, even if it was a pervert that had just randomly invaded his home, again.

France smiled, "Ah, so are you alright, Angleterre?"

"Eh? Of course I am, what made you think I wasn't?" England asked, even though he had a pretty good idea what the answer would be.

"You look très malade." France replied sincerely, "Very sick."

England by this point was getting tired of people telling him he looked unwell, "I assure you, I'm completely fine."

France raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

France looked at him unbelievingly, but then brushed it off and scooted closer to England, smiling.

England looked back at France and scooted an inch away from him.

France scooted closer until England had nowhere left to move on the couch, "So, Angleterre..." France put his arm around England's shoulder.

England flinched but didn't bother trying to stop France as he knew it would be futile, "So...?"

*Grope*

England immediately stood up, blushing a bit, "W-what are you doing?!" He wasn't sure how to react... it had been a long time since even France had dared to pull such a move on him.

France smirked and chuckled, "What is wrong, Angleterre?~"

"Y-you just... and I... uh..." England stammered incoherently.

France simply laughed his trademark laugh, smiling broadly that he could stump the Englishman.

"Why would you do that?" England shouted once he'd finally reclaimed his ability to speak in coherent sentences.

"Onhonhon~ What? Did you not like it, Angleterre?~"

"No. I most certainly did not!" The blush on his face begged to differ.

France smiled at the blushing Brit. He got up and started to walk towards the door.

"Wait... France before you go..." England trailed off.

France looked at him provocatively, "Oui?~"

"Make me an omelet."

France stopped smiling, "You're _zat _Angleterre!?"

"Yes, of course I-" He started to say but then he stopped himself, "Wait... you couldn't tell?"

"Euh... non..." France answered hesitantly.

"You're the only person that even knew that there were two of us, and you couldn't tell that we'd been switched?"

"...non... Y-You look ze same!"

"Finally someone who understands..." England muttered, thinking back on his own queen's complete inability to realize that while there may have been minor differences the two of them had looked fundamentally the same..

"Ah bien... you look sick, but zat 'appens often."

"I'm not sick! I'm perfectly fine!"

France motioned to England's torso, "Your body says otherwise."

"My body doesn't say a word to you!" England stated denying everything France had said.

"Oh, yes it does. It says it all zey time~" France chuckled, "And it is saying it now. Why won't you admit it?"

"No it doesn't! Nothing at all, you're just imagining things!"

France sighed in defeat, "Ah, zen au revoir, Angleterre." And the Frenchman has left the building.

England looked at the door, "And now I'm alone again..." his stomach growled, "And I still don't have an omelet."

So England sat down on the couch, once again.

And again, there was a knock at the door. _Who now?!_

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced, Igirisu-san," A familiar voice apologized from the other side of the door.

England blinked, sighed, and opened the door, pleased that it was someone he could actually talk to, "Oh, It's fine Japan. Come in."

Japan bowed his head politely as he silently entered.

England closed the door behind him, and sat down, for the umpteenth time, on the couch.

Japan sat down on another couch across from him, there was just barely a smile on his face as he stated the reason for his impromptu visit, "I was rooking through my kitchen when I found some tea that I thought you might rike to try."

England nodded, "Alright, why don't we make some, then?" England nodded to the kitchen.

"Hai. I will fix some right away," Japan replied as he got off the couch and headed to the kitchen. After a few minutes he returned with two cups of Japanese tea which he promptly set in front of his and England's seats before sitting back down.

England nodded in place of a 'thank you', and took a sip, "It's very good."

"Sankuu," Japan replied as he took a sip himself.

England sat there silently sipping the tea for a minute before Japan spoke.

"There is something different about you today, Igirisu-san..."

"And what is that?" England asked exasperatedly already knowing the answer.

"Usuary you would have tried to start a conversation by now," The asian nation replied.

"Ah well... excuse me?" England did not anticipate that response.

"Is it because you're sick that you're acting strangery?" Japan asked, somewhat blunter than he usually would have.

"Uh..." Future England tried to think of a good lie and failed, "... I'm not sick."

"Igirisu-san. I am old," Japan replied, "I have seen sickness enough times that I recognize it."

England looked at Japan oddly, he was the one acting strange here, "I'm fine, I assure you."

Japan looked at England with a piercing gaze but said nothing.

England shifted uncomfortably at being scrutinized by Japan.

Japan stopped looking at England and continued to sip his tea in silence.

England continued to sit uncomfortably, not picking up his tea.

"Gomen, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable," Japan spoke up awkwardly.

"It's alright. It's just that everyone has tried to convince me that I'm sick today, and I'm not." England said quietly.

"Everyone is just worried about you," Japan replied.

"Well, they don't need to be worried. I don't need their pity." England said a little more harshly than intended.

Japan was surprised by England's sudden harsh tone, "Eto... Am I being a bother?"

England looked to Japan as if he had never said his previous statement, "No... of course not, why?"

"Because you just said... eto... 'I don't need their pity'. I apporogize if I've been rude and hadn't realized..."

"No... no you haven't. I'm just a bit on-edge is all..." England confessed.

"I see, so I haven't done anything to upset you at all?" Japan asked with a calm smile.

"No..." England squinted slightly wondering where Japan was going with this.

Japan just offered a simple, "I see," before returning his attention to the tea.

England's tea remained untouched, extremely odd for him.

"..." Japan looked up at England again, "You should drink your tea before it gets cold."

England, again, snapped out of whatever was occupying his mind, "...Oh... right." He took a sip and set the cup back down, "So, what _really _brings you here, Japan?"

Japan cocked his head a bit at the question, "I told you, I found this tea and thought you might rike to try it. It is always enjoyabre to drink tea with you after ar."

England stared at him a bit, then took another sip of tea.

"Did you think I had a different reason?"

England shook his head, "Of course not." He lied.

Japan was even more confused now, "Then why did you ask?"

England opened his mouth to say something, but abandoning it, closed his mouth and shook his head dismissively.

Japan watched as England shook his head and found it very suspicious. _Is he not going to even try to lie this time?_ The asian nation directed his attention back to the tea in his hand.

Both nations sipped their tea in another awkward silence for a bit.

"Igirisu-san... it's perfectery fine that you are rying to the rest of the world, but it would be better you didn't deny your weakness to yourself. Your ries wir not become you."

England eyed Japan oddly, "...I'm not lying to myself."

Japan looked at his watch, "Oh it's getting rate... I must go now. Ja ne, Igirisu-san." With that Japan gave a polite thirty degree bow and promptly nation hopped away.

England scowled slightly at being alone again, "...I'm not lying to myself... right?"

He looked at his still mostly full tea cup. It was cold now.

England frowned and picked up his and Japan's cups, and took them to the kitchen he mumbled to himself, "Maybe I am..."

… … …

"Hey you!" The Queen shouted rather unmajestically at England, "You said the Doctor switched you and England so you'll have to do his job. Fair enough, right?"

England looked up from examining several items in his future home, "Well... I am England... so I suppose that's fair, you're majesty."

"Good, we're in the middle of a war so I can't just be without an England," She stated with a smile as though England were plaything of hers, or perhaps a mascot.

"War!?" England exclaimed, standing up.

"Yes, war. That's what I said isn't it?"

"Yes, but with who!?"

"The Germans. It takes an awful lot of war to keep up an empire you know," The Queen said as if it were nothing.

"Well I know that... but _Germany_?"

"Well I got drunk one day and was hitting on that adorable nation Italy, next thing I knew Germany had declared war on England."

England mouthed words that no gentleman should say aloud and facepalmed.

"Anyway, you can take care of England's work right? The holo-work has just been piling up since he left," The Queen shrugged.

"I can't do those holo-thingys, your majesty." England said, taking a slightly complaining tone.

"Well, why not?"

"...I'm not all that great with technology."

The Queen didn't seem to understand the idea that England had no clue what he was supposed to do with the holo-work, "But it's very user-friendly, even if you're not sure how to work it you can just ask the holo-tutorial."

"B- but I don't know how to turn the bloody thing on, let alone work it at all!" England complained.

"Then go to the library and find a holo-book about how to work it, England always did stuff like that when he wasn't sure how things worked."

England opened his mouth to explain that he didn't know how to work _any _sort of future technology, but abandoned the thought, closed his mouth, and asked "Where's the library?" _I must have kept some paper books, right?_

"It's just three rooms down from this one," The Queen explained, pointing to the right, "The holo-guide's name is Arthur."

"Uh... 'holo-guide'?" England questioned, _Am I that nationalistic that I have a virtual me?_

"Man, you really are stupid, he'll help you find what you're looking for."

England scowled, but decided it would be ungentlemanly to yell at the queen for calling him stupid, "Thank you." He walked off to where she had told him, at least the door was unlocked.

England wasn't surprised at all to find that the library seemed to be shelves upon shelves of holo-books, he'd expected it but had at least been hoping that he might be able to find some good old fashioned paper books... but there didn't seem to be any.

"May I help you?" A voice England hadn't heard in centuries suddenly asked from behind him.

England turned around, "Ki-... King Arthur..!?" His eyes widened as he observed the figure now in front of him.

"I am not King Arthur, I am a voice interface," the figure replied, it was the king... but holographic, and slightly robotic sounding.

"...oh...really?" That was very disappointing. There were a lot of people England missed over the centuries. King Arthur Pendragon was one of them.

"Affirmative."

"...Well, will you please direct me to the paper books?"

The hologram nodded, "Follow me, sir," and began to lead England to a small door at the very back of the library.

England eyed the door, "Uh... in there?"

"Beyond the door lies the private 'book' collection of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland," The holographic king stated.

"Alright, thank you, my k-...sorry." England frowned and tried to touch the hologram, but his hand passed right through, causing a disruption and a small static sound.

After a moment the hologram had righted itself and then disappeared, having taken the 'thank you' as a sign that it was no longer needed. Leaving England alone with the door... it was locked.

England sighed and shook his head trying to focus his thoughts on opening the door. It didn't even have a lock. _How do you open this!?_

_There's no lock but it won't open... magic? But didn't my future self say that magic was illegal in the future? How long has it been since he's entered this room...? I guess it's worth a try..._

England focused on the door, the spell wasn't going to be that hard to break.

"Aperire!"

There was a small clicking sound and the door creaked open.

England let out a sigh of relief as he entered the room. It was his old library in it's entirety, old bookshelves reaching the extent of the room filled with history books, novels, magical tomes, and dust. There were newer shelves as well on the end, filled with books that hadn't been written yet from his perspective... books he was very tempted to read.

But that would be bad.

He looked toward the magical books, he hadn't seen most of them before. _Didn't my future self mention something about a magic revolution?_

He looked over the shelves, and picked up a familiar magic book. A scrap of paper fell out.

_What?_

He picked up the paper and eyed it curiously, it was a spell. But he'd never seen such a strange spell before, it was completely different than the magic he was used to.

Scrawled at the bottom of the paper was a small note; _You're going to need this, thank Alexander Ginger. -Sincerely your future self._

Alexander Ginger. England didn't recognize the name, but he assumed it must be someone that he hadn't met yet. Someone important apparently.

He looked at the list of ingredients and the procedure for the spell, "WHAT!? What kind of spell is this!?" It was extremely odd... and specific. A strange thing for a spell.

It was supposed to 'Turn German potatoes into scones'. _What!? 'Scones'? ...Maybe it means 'stones'. Maybe I translated it incorrectly. Yeah, I'm sure that's it._

England looked back over the list of ingredients as he walked to where his basement had been, hoping that it would still be there even though magic was supposedly illegal. And thankfully it was not only perfectly in tact but also unlocked.

England immediately went about looking for the ingredients that were required for the spell, all sorts of strange things that his future self had apparently kept for Lord knows how long judging by all the dust.

_Why all this stuff? Not even any candles! I don't think that this will work._ England's spells typically used a magic circle, but this seemed... almost casual. _To think, casual magic! Ha!_

He chuckled, "This will never work. However... I can't change it. It's worth a try, I suppose."

England took the necessary ingredients and followed the _excessively_ specific instructions to prepare the spell. Soon it was done, and he chanted an incantation that he had never heard before.

"Nid yw byth yn syniad da i wahodd yr Almaen draw am te, onid yw? Hyd yn oed er ei fod yn addo i fwyta y sgons ac yn yfed te." (It is never a good idea to invite Germany along for tea, is it? Even though he promised to eat scones and drink tea.)

_What? _England thought silently, but continued.

"Yr wyf yn dweud sillafu hwn, a Profi! Llawer o sgons blasus i'w bwyta!" (I say this spell, and poof! Lots of delicious scones to eat!)

England took a breath, concentrating.

"Rwy'n defnyddio fy mhwer i droi holl datws Almaenaidd i mewn sgons!" (I use my power to turn all German potatoes into scones!)

There was slight gust of wind, and a strange sound... and that was it.

England squinted, "That's it? That's it!? All that for nothing!?" England groaned, _Maybe it worked... who knows?_ His usual spells were really flamboyant, lots of light and lots of effort, but this... this was nearly effortless, but not nearly as satisfying.

England sighed and picked up the book, spell paper, and put the leftover ingredients back.

He started walking back up to the library, disappointed when he heard Queen Amelia III.

"It's a miracle! The Germans are retreating!" The Queen shouted enthusiastically, "Did you do something?"

"Um…." England glanced at the magic book briefly, "Yes…."

"Then you, sir, are amazing!" She exclaimed, "Marry me!"

England blushed slightly, "Your majesty, we already discussed this, I can't marry you…"

"Fiddlesticks…"

England sighed, "Now, please excuse me, your majesty. I must return this book to the library."

"Alright," She sighed, getting back to whatever it had been that she was doing before she'd spotted England.

"Thank you." England walked back up to the library and placed the book back where he had found it.

But as he began to make his way out of the library England couldn't help but notice a large book labeled '_The British Empire- a history_', he reached his hand towards it but quickly shook his head.

"No I shouldn't… I might mess up my future…"

"Oh c'mon~ You really want to know~" Sweet Devil England tempted, placing a hand on England's left shoulder.

"That's true… and maybe I'm supposed to read it, maybe that's why I'll become an empire," England thought aloud, listening to the sweet devil.

"No! That could cause all sorts of unnecessary paradoxes! It's an entirely _bad _idea." Britannia Angel pleaded, placing a hand on England's right shoulder.

England frowned, "Right… it might mess up everything if I know what's going to happen ahead of time. I shouldn't risk it."

"But come on!~ Aren't you interested?~ I mean, It's okay as long as you find out yourself, right?~"

"The Doctor did say something like that didn't he… it's not like I'm planing to change anything," England said, though the Doctor had never said such a thing to him. He began to reach for the book again.

Britannia Angel shook his shoulder gently, "No! It's the future! You don't want to give yourself the upper hand you're not supposed to have! What if you win battles you're not supposed to! It could change everything!"

"See?~ You could win more!~ A win's always a win, fair or not~ You know that." Sweet Devil England said smoothly.

"But what If by winning more I make this already terrible future even worse?" England asked himself- or rather his selves.

"See!?" Britannia Angel glared at the sweet devil, "You know that's not what I meant!" Sweet Devil England scoffed.

"Could the two of you be quiet for just one minute?! I'm trying to think!" England said, raising his voice a bit more than he meant to.

Both of the apparitions looked at England wordlessly, slightly stunned by his harshness.

After a moment England sighed, "I'm not going to read it. It's not really worth the risk, even if it might make this future better it could make it even worse. I'd rather that not happen, for my sake."

Britannia Angel smiled as he and an angry Sweet Devil England faded into nothing.

* * *

**Cast:**

**England: DOF-san**

**Future England: Shared**

**Queen Amelia III: Me**

**France: Shared**

**America: Me**

**Japan: Me  
**

**Scotland: DOF-san**

**Sweet Devil England: DOF-san  
**

**Britannia Angel: DOF-san**

**Voice interface Arthur Pendragon: Me**


	8. Bowling

**We were a bit later than we meant to be getting this chapter out but in our defense it's long. Really long. This is -I think- the longest chapter that will exist in this story and while a lot of it seems like really stupid filler it's littered with tiny important details and such so do keep your eyes peeled.  
Also in this chapter two of the characters will play chess, to decide the winner in that scene we both got into character and played an actual game of chess to write the scene.  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 7, "Bowling":**

Future England felt a wave of heat come over him as he was walking back to his guest room. The heat alone he may have been able to handle, but coupling it with the intense dizziness and nausea that he'd already been feeling there was no more denying that he was sick. Terribly, terribly sick.

He made his way to the guest room, with each step he seemed to wobble more and it became more and more of a struggle to not fall on the ground.

Eventually he made it, and simply plopped onto the bed face first.

He had absolutely no energy left to try and right himself in the bed when he heard someone.

"EEENNNGGGLLLAAAAAAAANNNDDD!"

England felt too crummy to respond and after a moment there was a loud banging sound.

"WEIRD GRUMPY FUTURE ENGLAND! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

England tried to muster up the strength to move his head from its current position of being buried in the covers, but failed to. He hear his intruder's loud footsteps up the hall.

America burst into the room (which was rather easy seeing as England hadn't even closed the door), he shouted, "Oh there you are! What're you doing in here?"

England flinched at the loudness of his voice, but he still could not find the strength to move anything.

"Dude you look even worse than you did before…. did something happen?" America asked worriedly.

But England still didn't respond. He just laid there on his stomach with his face buried in the covers.

America was growing very worried by England's lack of response and decided to flip him over, the latter felt excruciatingly warm and he burned America's skin at the touch.

"Whoa, you're hot!" America shouted, "You're seriously sick dude… one moment, I'll go get…. uh…. sick person stuff."

With that America ran off in the direction of the kitchen (as that seemed to him to be the best place to keep 'sick person stuff) and soon returned with a moist washcloth, which he put on England's forehead, and a thermometer, which he stuck in his mouth.

"There!" America said loudly, sounding rather proud of his first aid abilities as he waited for the thermometer to give a reading. When it eventually did though America was very confused, "41 degrees? That can't be right he's burning up!"

America squinted at the thermometer, it read '41°C'.

"What's this 'C' for….. oh right those silly Europeans use Celsius….. what's 41 degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit?" America paused for a moment, trying to do the math in his head until he realized that he actually had no clue what the conversion formula was. At that point he just pulled out his phone and googled it with England's wi-fi, "What? 105.9 degrees… that's crazy!"

England furrowed his brow and managed to say, "Can you… not be so loud?"

"You're alive!" America shouted a bit before processing what England had said, he continued with a loudish whisper, "Right… sorry."

"Why are you here…?" England mumbled.

America hesitated a bit, "Well there's gonna be a world meeting tomorrow, I figured I should tell you but… I guess you probably won't be well enough to go."

England frowned, "I don't understand."

"What don't you get?" America asked confusedly.

"Why… you still... came here after... what happened earlier."

"Huh…? Oh right," America shrugged, "Well no one else was going to tell you that there was a meeting, I mean you've always been pretty good about remembering when we were going to have one. I'm the only person that knows you're from the future so no one else was gonna think to remind you."

England shifted a bit, "But why… why do you forgive me?... It's only been... a few hours,… and you're acting as if... nothing happened."

"Eh… uh I guess I wasn't really angry at you…. I just didn't like how you were saying no one wanted to be around you and that everyone was gonna hate you…"

"..." England thought about that, but then tried to change the subject, "...It's so hot."

"Well you're running a 105 degree fever," America replied, pausing for a moment, "I'll go turn up the AC."

"... uh.. wot? 105 degrees! That's impossible!"

As he fiddled with the rooms AC unit America replied, "No it's just a bit over….. oh right Celsius! It's uh…. 41 degrees celsius."

"Oh.. right."

"Either way, you're burning up, dude," America said as he finally managed to get the AC turned on full blast.

England looked at America as he approached his bed, "... I-... I'm sick…"

America rolled his eyes, "Well, yeah, obviously. So tell me, what happened. Why are you like this?"

"... Japan convinced me that I was….. sick." _Lying to myself._ He shifted again, trying to get comfortable.

"Really? Japan's so quiet though! What'd he say that finally managed to convince you?"

"... why do _you_ need to know?" England bristled.

"I don't really…. just kinda curious. I mean it was really obvious that you were sick but you kept refusing to admit it…." America trailed off, "I just kinda wanted to know what Japan -of all people- was able to say to make you realize you were really sick."

Future England sighed, "He convinced me that I was lying to myself…."

"Whoa, he was actually able to do that….."

"...yes….."

"Wow…." America was surprised. Not just that the small asian nation had been the one that convinced England he was sick (and lying), but also that England was now willing to admit to both. It was practically a miracle.

The world around England spun as he looked at America. He shut his eyes tight and tried to fight off the dizziness but couldn't.

"Dude… what's wrong?"

"Dizzy" England said weakly and put a hand over his eyes as if it would help.

America wasn't really sure what to do about that, he tried as hard as he could to come up with something that could be done to combat dizziness but everything he could think of were things that applied to humans…. nations not so much.

England stayed that way for a few minutes before he finally put his hand down and blinked at America oddly.

America had still been trying to think of what he should do in this situation when he noticed England looking at him, "Oh…. are you better now? Well, the dizziness at least?"

England blinked as if he didn't understand America and was silent a moment before he spoke, "...um… yes." He shook his head slightly dispersing whatever had drawn his attention.

America was confused by England's actions but didn't question it, "You should probably get some rest…"

England nodded slightly as another wave of heat came over him.

America looked at England for a moment, unsure of what to do he left the room but rather than going back to his own house he decided that he'd stay in the guest room right across from the one England was staying in- at least until England was a little bit better.

… … …

Present England walked back down into what appeared to still be his living room, and was surprised to find Queen Amelia III, Italy, and…. a rather muscular Germany.

"So it's settled, you two handsome fellows will both become territories of England now?" The Queen announced enthusiastically.

"Um…. excuse me, but…. what is going on?" England chimed in.

"I don't know how you managed to pull off that stunt, but since you've turned all of my army's rations into scones I have no choice but to surrender," Future Germany replied, sounding bitter.

"So it did work…?" England said under his breath, eyeing the scared Italian who looked the same as always.

"Vhat do you mean? Of course it vorked! Vhatever it vas you did," Germany shouted.

England was slightly taken aback by Germany's harshness, "I didn't think you heard me. Um…. your majesty, did you say that they were territories?"

"Well yeah that's how imperialism works, Mr. Hottie. You beat people and then they get put under your sovereignty," The Queen said haughtily.

"I assure you that I know the concept of imperialism quite well, your majesty." England blushed slightly, "I just didn't think that Germany would surrender to anyone, much less become a territory."

"I didn't have much choice in the matter, it vas my boss that decided that ve vould surrender," Germany replied.

England glanced again at the Italian, "Then why is Italy here?"

The Queen smiled, "He's part of the package~"

England frowned, "It's not right to treat Italy as 'part of a package deal'. He is his own nation," he stepped closer, "So, why _are_ you here Italy?"

"I wanted to come with Germany…" Italy answered shyly.

England blinked and then smiled, Italy reminded him of how some of his former colonies used to act toward him when they were still colonies. He smothered his smile, and looked at the pair formally, "Well….. if that's what you wish, so be it."

"Vhy do you sound so sad? Italy is just more territory to you," Germany questioned.

"Adorable territory…" the queen muttered to herself.

England frowned once again, "No, he's not. Germany, your boss decided to surrender, so you are now my territory," that sentence felt very odd on England's tongue, "but Italy is free and wants to be under my government because he wants to be with you. I should feel happy about this, but I don't….. Italy, you are free to leave whenever you chose."

"Britain… really…?" Italy asked, not really sure whether or not he should believe what the Brit was saying. Germany also stared, such a decision could cost him a lot later on.

"...yes." England said staying firm with the decision he just made. He knew his future self would not agree.

The Queen also knew that Future England would not have agreed, but she couldn't really say that at this point. Besides, as long as they had Germany, Italy would probably decide to stick around. She cast a glare towards England, but he was much too focused on the two nations that had just become his future territory to notice.

"Ve, That's very kind of you Britain," Italy said with a bright smile.

"It's the least I can do." England said almost inaudibly.

Italy's smile grew even brighter yet as he suddenly got up and hugged England.

England was slightly surprised, but didn't push Italy away. Instead he cast a glance at Germany to try and gauge his reaction. Germany was smiling too, a _very_ rare thing. Italy let go and the two teleported out of future England's house without another word.

"Well wasn't _that_ just bloody adorable," The queen said, sounding almost angry, at first England suspected that she was jealous that Italy had hugged him but not her… but that didn't seem to be what had dampened her mood. She was glaring at England, "Tell me, who are you really?"

England was surprised by her sudden change of mood, "Um…. I've told you that I'm England, your majesty."

"Yes, you keep saying that, and I've almost believed you…" The Queen paused, "But what you did just now proved that you can't be England. Not the one I know, at least. He'd have never said that."

"I'm from the past." England confessed, hesitating on the thought of his future self acting so greedily.

The Queen rolled her eyes, "Then prove it, Imposter. Why should I believe you?"

"..." Present England stumbled and then got an idea, "I used magic to have Germany surrender, your majesty."

"Oh, did you now?" The Queen asked, smirking she added, "It had been obvious that you weren't from this time… but for you to be from that far in the past. We could use this."

England stiffened, scowling, "I won't use that as an advantage in something that hasn't even happened yet. You won't use me." Not a sliver of respect was evident in England's words, he said them as if he were commanding an army, "I am this country and you have no right to treat me like a tool." He would never be used as a tool, and was extremely surprised that she could concoct such a plan. Maybe the queen was more intelligent than she seemed.

She let out a very disappointed sounding sigh, "Calm down you spoilsport, I was just joking. All the other countries would probably team up on us if we were the only nation that had magic anyway, even with magic that's hardly a good situation."

"This is not a joking matter."

"Whatever," The Queen huffed, "In that case it wasn't a joke. Let's use your magic like ambitious idiots and take over the world! It'll be fun!"

England frowned and walked up to the queen. He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, locked her gaze, and spoke firmly, "Queen Amelia III, you don't understand what it means to be used as a tool. It's not a laughing matter. You asked me to prove that I was from the past and that's all that I could think of to do so. Who have you thought that I was all this time?"

The Queen blinked, "I only asked you to prove it to see what you'd come up with, it's rather difficult to prove one's come from the past after all -the future, sure- but with the past it's almost impossible. I knew you were a past England all along, it was simply more fun to deny it. Anyway you think I don't know what it's like to be used? The English monarchy has been nothing but important looking figureheads for centuries, I've known what it's like to be used and how to use others since before I could even walk."

England, this time, blinked, his gaze softening. He couldn't find any words to express a personal apology, so he took a few steps back from the queen and bowed, "I apologize for my harsh words and actions, your majesty. I hadn't realized."

"Of course you hadn't, you're from the past. What're you doing sticking your oversized eyebrows into future business anyway?" The Queen asked, more or less ignoring England's apology.

England bristled slightly at the mention of his eyebrows, but forced himself to remain respectful, "I'm not here because I want to be, I'm stuck here until the Doctor realizes his mistake."

"Why not phone him then?" The Queen asked, rolling her eyes, "I wasn't going to say anything about it because I wanted to see how long it'd take you to screw something up, as you have now."

"'Phone him'?" England asked uncomprehendingly.

"He travels in a phone box. You never once thought there might be a way to call him? The number has been passed though the English government since phones have existed, or since Churchill at least."

"...I never knew…" England was surprised that his own government had kept secrets from him, "...Besides, I don't have a phone with me."

"Well, you're rather useless aren't you past-England?" The Queen sighed as she pulled her own holo-phone out of her pocket, "I suppose I should call him then."

England nodded, not knowing how to use one of those things or the number to call anyway.

The queen quickly called the number and handed the holo-phone over to England without saying a word.

"Ah- I don't-!" England tried to protest before the Doctor picked up.

"Hello, who is this?" The Doctor asked, he sounded different than he had the last time that England had seen him but he assumed it was just because he was calling him across time and space.

"Eng- Well, 2013's England." England stuttered.

"2013? It's been awhile since I've been there… is there any particular reason you're calling?" The Doctor sounded a bit concerned.

"Well, you see, when you tried to put my future self back in his own time, you grabbed me instead. I was wondering if you planned on switching us back."

"Wot?" The Doctor was quiet for a moment, processing, "Blimey, and how long has it been -from your perspective that is?"

"...Um, about three days, I think."

"Three days… Got it, I'll come pick you up in a jiffy…. gah who says jiffy anymore, I'm never saying that again…. I'll come get you right away," The Doctor said, hanging up the phone on his end.

England handed the queen her 'holo-phone' unsure of how to hang-up.

The Queen took her phone and promptly shut it, "So he's coming for you, is he?"

"Yes, or so he said." England replied, thinking back on the Doctor's voice, _Why did he sound so odd?_

"Good, then I'll have you out of my hair, and hopefully I'll get my England back."

"What's that supposed to mean!? You're the one who's been calling me hot all week!"

"Hotter than the current England for sure, but for as hot as you are you're no good for getting things done, until you use magic at least."

"It's not my fault that I'm not familiar with _future_ technology!"

"You could have studied it in the time you were here, then invented it under a false name," The Queen suggested.

"That would be a paradox."

"As long as the 'false name' is the name of the inventor you read about then you'll just be insuring times proper flow," She rationalized, "Predestination by prior knowledge."

"...Why did you get so intelligent all of a sudden?" England couldn't contain his curiosity any longer.

"Like I said before, I'm basically just a figurehead," The Queen rolled her eyes, "I simply act the way the people expect a queen to act, throw in a few quirky traits so I'll be remembered as a 'young' queen and presto, you have Queen Amelia the third, the flirty idiot."

England blinked in surprize, impressed that she thought it out so well, "I'm sorry, your majesty, I didn't mean to offend you."

"You haven't offended me at all," She giggled, "It's been fun making you blush these past few days."

England gave her a quizzical look, "Why does everyone enjoy that _so much_?"

"Because it makes you look cute," She winked.

In response, England blushed.

The Queen giggled some more, "Oh, now it's just too easy~"

England cursed his pale skin once again.

"So, what are you going to do while you wait for the Doctor?"

"... I suppose I could go visit Future America…" England mused.

The Queen seemed surprised by England's declaration, "Really? But America is… well I suppose time changes people..."

"We already talked about the whole my-future-self-wanting-nothing-to-do-with-him thing."

"Yes, I haven't actually met him myself but you, well your future self has always said that he's an irritating hypocrite, and that you'd rather have your eyebrows plucked hair by hair than see his face," The Queen explained.

England's eyes went wide in shock, _How could I ever say something like that!?_

"Though I suppose, if you've already met him and still want to see him again then it must be you that's changed more rather than him."

"..." England could never, _ever_ imagine himself proposing such an idea.

"Well if you want to go visit him I'm not going to stop you, go get a teleporter and visit him," The Queen said when England failed to reply.

"...I- It's alright, I can nation hop over there."

"Nation hop? What's that?"

"Uhh…. I'll… explain later." With that, England promptly took a step and nation hopped to America's house.

… … …

It had been at least a week since the world meeting, and Future England was getting restless. He had already gone through an unpleasant wave of sickness but for now he appeared to be fine and couldn't find anything to do. He had even resorted to doing a portion of his past self's paperwork to keep himself occupied.

England now laid on a large couch in his living room with his head hanging over the side causing all the blood to go to his head. It was something that a kid did when they were bored, and England copied it with a frustrated expression.

Fortunately, he heard America enter the room, "Yo England, how's it going?"

England stayed in his current position, "Bored."

"We could watch a movie…" America suggested.

"I'm from the future, I've seen them all." England replied irritatedly, "Bored."

"Then what can we do that you haven't done?" America asked, his tone almost a whine.

England's eyes lit up, and he sat up quickly, earning himself a headache, "We could go bowling!" He suggested enthusiastically.

"Bowling? You want to go…. bowling?"

"You mean that it hasn't been invented yet?"

"It has but…" America paused for a moment, not sure how to word what he wanted to say, "You just don't seem like the kind of person that would like bowling."

"Who doesn't like breaking windows?" England said matter-of-factly.

America gave England a questioning gaze, "Dude, I think you've been throwing the ball the wrong way."

"'Ball'?... Oh.. you're talking about _that_ kind of bowling…" England said seemingly disappointed.

"What kind of _bowling_ were you talking about?" America asked.

"Bowling. You'll understand when you're older," England said smirking, "now we're back to square one. The Bored Square."

America sighed, "How about a board game then?"

England gave America a suspicious look, "Do you know how to play chess yet?"

"Of course I do, it's that black and white game where the pieces jump each other and move diagonally!"

"That's checkers and the pieces are red and black. Chess is the game where," England glanced away apparently thinking of something, "where 'the horses have to move in Ls' and 'the kings are stupid'."

"OOOOH that game! Why didn't you say so? Of course I can play chess!"

England growled and almost facepalmed. Almost.

"Alright, but I warn you, I've been playing chess for over two-thousand years."

"Then you're going to feel really bad if I beat you," America smiled.

"I'm the second British Empire, a _master_ of strategy. You won't beat me." England replied adding a smile of his own.

"You're on!" America said determinedly, as he sprang up and dashed off to find a chess set. How he managed to find one in England's house is a complete mystery but he somehow managed. There was a big smile on his face as he put it down on the table.

"What colour do you want?" England asked, laying out the board.

"White!" America replied loudly, "Black is for bad guys! …. no offence."

England rolled his eyes and set up the board, and then paused.

America looked at England expectantly, "What?"

"White has the first turn." He replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh, okay!" America nodded and moved one of his knights.

England inturn moved a pawn.

America smiled broadly as he moved his knight to take out the pawn England had just moved, "Charge!"

England rolled his eyes and moved another pawn.

America moved a pawn of his own with a smug look.

England looked at America questioningly and proceeded to use the pawn to take knight.

This silent movement of the pieces continued for quite a while until England took one of America's pawns.

For some reason America seemed to have taken a particular liking to that particular pawn, "NOOOOOO, not the pawn!"

England raised an extravagant eyebrow, "It's just a pawn." He moved a rook.

"What? You don't care about your soldiers?" America replied casually as he moved a rook of his own.

"I do, but this is chess. It's not a literal battle." England said patiently.

"Yeah but... they're still fighting…" America muttered.

England shrugged not really seeing America's reasoning.

"Gah, not another one! Fine!" America said aloud as England took another one of his pawns, he then proceeded to take one of England's.

England ignored him and silently moved another piece, thinking about his strategy.

America didn't say anything more for a while and they continued to move pieces back and forth.

England frowned as America took one of his knights and then proceeded to take the other on his next turn. After a few more moves, America used his queen to take a rook and then immediately returned it to it's original position. _Like a cobra._ England thought a bit amused.

Even though he seemed to be doing well America was worried he was going to lose, he didn't want to lose, he wanted to prove to England (even if it were a really grumpy England from the future) that he could be smart and strategic too.

England soon took one of America's knights, America frowned.

"America, they're just pawns in a game. Why are you so concerned?"

America seemed to hesitate a bit before saying, "but if I don't have a bunch of pieces I'm gonna lose!"

"It's not about the number of pieces, it's how efficiently you use them." England moved a pawn.

"So then this pawn can be the hero if I want it to?" America asked, raising a normal sized eyebrow as he moved a pawn.

"No, a pawn can't win. It's inferior." England replied monotonously, his eyes never leaving the board.

"Well even the underdog can put up a fight sometimes," America replied somewhat indignantly.

"It can contribute," England corrected, moving a bishop, "but cannot ultimately be the sole victor."

"Well why not?" America asked, frowning as he moved one of his own pieces.

"Because, as I've said, it's inferior. It lacks the ability to attack head on, and is easily killed."

"I beat you when I was the underdog didn't I?"

England scowled, his eyes sharpening with anger, "Bishop to B7." He said out loud through clenched teeth.

America gave England a questioning look as he moved his piece in response to England's move, but didn't say anything.

England let out a breath to try and calm down, he used one of his bishops to capture another one of America's pawns.

America furrowed his brow as his pawn was taken and proceeded to take the Bishop that had taken it with his rook.

After a few moves, England sighed, apparently now more calm, "Yes, I suppose you did." He said but the sharpness hadn't left his eyes.

"No hard feelings, right?" America replied with a smile, but it seemed forced.

England was silent, an indicator that he was still bitter. America found it odd. Whenever he mentioned the Revolution to present England, he just started to look really sad and would fail at covering it up with anger. This England however looked genuinely furious at him, _Did he really change that much?_ It reminded America of how he had acted for a while just after the Revolution.

America didn't say anything as he took one of England's frontline pawns with a pawn of his own, landing America's pawn right in front of England's king.

"You can't use it to win, America." England quickly used his queen to capture the pawn. He didn't have a different piece to use besides the king himself and if he had used him he'd have been put in check by America's rook.

"Fine, I didn't wanna use the pawn to win anyway," America pouted.

"You're so childish." England replied smugly.

"No I'm not!" America stuck his tongue out childishly as he moved his queen slamming it down with a loud clack, "Check!"

England raised a majestically thick eyebrow once again as he examined the board. His eyes widened in the realisation, "Actually…. it's checkmate." England had nowhere to go, his own defensive line had pinned him back and if he moved his queen to block then the rook would take his king.

_Checkmate? That means I win right_, America thought to himself, amazed. A grin began to stretch across his face, "Checkmate! How's that for childish?"

England scowled and tipped his king over with a flick of a finger in defeat.

America continued to smile and laugh as he shouted, "And the Hero wins!"

… … …

England arrived at Future America's house with little difficulty, only a slight tiredness from the nation hopping. He opened the front door, which was unlocked as per usual, and stepped inside.

Future America seemed to notice him right away, "Nation hopping? Haven't seen anyone do that in a while. How's it going, England?"

"Good, I figure that I would come visit you, considering I don't have much else to do."

"The Doctor still hasn't come to pick you up yet?" America asked curiously, somehow knowing that Future England and his past self had been swapped despite not having actually met England since the swap had occurred.

"No, he said that he would be here soon, but I don't think he will." England was thankful that Future America had known that it was him without having to ask. England didn't want to have to say it again especially considering what had just happened with the queen.

America smiled, "Then I guess you have some time to waste, wanna watch a holo-movie?"

"'Holo-movie'? I'm guessing it's holographic. Wouldn't that be nearly the same as 3D movies?"

"Trust me, it's a completely different experience compared to what you have back in the twenty first century."

"Alright." England said blushing slightly, _It feels like he's asking me out on a date,_ but England quickly reasoned against that idea.

"Hmm I guess I'd better stick to a classic movie though, probably wouldn't be a good idea to show you future movies," America smiled, "What about The Titanic?"

England flinched slightly, the real Titanic brought back bad memories, but the movie version was fictional, "Are you sure that you can sit through the whole thing? It's over four hours long."

"It's a holo-movie, you won't want to sit the whole time," America laughed but didn't explain why.

"It's a figure of speech, you cheeky twat….. and why not?"

"You'll see," America replied, "Now come on."

With that America started in the direction of his home holo-theater, a relatively small room with white walls and two folding lawn chairs propped on one of the walls.

England was confused as he glanced around the room, "Where is the projector?"

America chuckled a bit, "It's not quite the same kind you're used to, but there's a sort of projector in the middle of the ceiling, and each of the walls, and the floor."

"Wouldn't that mean that we're in the middle of the movie, then?" England gave America another confused look.

"That's the point."

England opened his mouth to comment, but he had forgot what he was going to say, so he continued to stare confusedly at the American.

"Here, check it out," America said as he pushed the button to start the movie which was located on the wall by the door, after having already chosen which one to watch.

Suddenly there were things all around them, they seemed to be in a completely different place though they hadn't moved at all. the opening credits began to roll and then the movie started. Rose began to tell her story.

England watched intently as the woman appeared in front of him, she looked almost real, as if she were in the room with them. He gasped as their landscape changed with the beginning scenes. He really felt like part of the action.

America saw that England was obviously enjoying himself and smiled as he unfolded one of the lawn chairs and sat down close to a corner of the room.

However, England didn't even notice him move and continued to stand and stare at this new form of movie.

Of course America had expected he'd be like this. England was used to watching a movie on a screen in front of him, to suddenly be standing in the middle of that movie with things happening all around was an amazing experience, especially the first time.

England cautiously reached out to touch one of the characters, but his hand went straight through with a slight static sound and a brief disruption of the hologram.

"Even if they look it they aren't real," America said from his lawn chair, watching England's reactions more so than the movie itself.

England's head turned toward America before his eyes followed, "But they're just so….." He trailed off, and walked toward the American who handed him a lawn chair.

"If you think this is awesome you wouldn't believe the movies they make intending for them to be shown like this," America replied, "This movie had been made with the understanding that it was going to be flat but then it's been made holographic, the one's that are made to be holographic are just incredible."

"In my time, they had just recently come out with a 3D version of The Titanic." England stared at America, _At least that's one thing to look forward to._

"Oh, right they did do that didn't they?" America asked, suddenly he looked towards the door, "I'm going to go get some popcorn, want any?"

"Um…. no thank you." England said turning his attention back to the holo-movie.

America then left the room for a bit too long to have just been getting popcorn while England was completely absorbed in the movie before he returned with a movie-size bucket of popcorn.

England glanced at him as he walked in, "I thought that everything was instant."

"Huh? Oh my boss was trying to get me to do something and wouldn't give up," America explained.

"...Alright." England reassumed watching the movie with great attention.

America took a quick glance at the scenery around them and realized that a certain scene was coming up, "Er… should I turn the maturity filters on?"

"Hmm?" England turned to look at America and remembered the scene he was talking about, "Why? It's just a naked woman. The screen cuts off at her-... oh…. if you want to." England smirked like the pervert he is and chuckled a bit.

America smirked a bit too, "Then I guess I won't turn it on then, we're both responsible adults, right?"

"That's right, you'd be 1238 by now. I remember the first time we sat down to watch this movie together, you looked away at that part."

"I was just a kid back then," America replied, smiling a bit as he remembered what England was talking about..

England looked at him oddly, every time that he had called Present America childish he would get mad at him, "Being a younger nation doesn't make you a kid. You-... Stop being so mature!"

"You _want_ me to be immature, then?" America laughed, smirking a bit, "Alright, let _the hero_ show you just how immature he can be."

"N- no, that's not what I me-"

"Immature people don't let other people finish sentences!"

"That was just rude."

"Rude and immature go hand in hand," America shrugged.

England was now about to ask as to how he'd gotten himself into all of this when the scene where Jack draws Rose naked came up, she was still in her bathrobe, however.

"I left the filter on, I hope you don't mind," America stated.

"Whatever Mr. Immature American. If you want to be like that, so be it." England crossed his arms.

America chuckled a bit, "Oh, were you looking forward to seeing her in her fully-holographic glory?"

England blushed slightly and looked away smiling, "Maybe."

"I can rewind… and pause."

England turned to him and tried not to laugh, "I think that you've been hanging out with Canada too much. His half-French is rubbing off on you."

America let out a loud very American sounding laugh, "Maybe you're right, or maybe I just got it from you."

"Hey, I'm not French." England said indignantly, still smiling.

"Yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean you can't be a perv," America replied, also smiling.

"I'm a gentleman, for your information."

"A pervy one," America smirked.

England shook his head and sighed. He looked back at the movie and another scene was on, England was a little disappointed that he'd missed it, but brushed it off and turned continued watching the holo-movie with interest.

Hours seemed to turn into minutes and the movie was winding down to an end, America was asleep in his lawn chair while England watched the movie intently. It didn't seem like long at all before the ending credits began to roll and there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Al, whatcha watching?" A quiet voice said from the otherside.

"Eh? Who's there?" America asked apparently having been awake enough to hear the quiet voice, though he didn't really give enough time for the other to respond before continuing with a laugh, "Just kidding, I know it's you bro."

Future Canada poked his head in the door, "I was about say. If you'd forgotten me again-" Canada's eyes widened as he noticed England was in the room, he opened the door fully but didn't come any farther into the room, "England…..?"

"Yes…" England looked at Canada confusedly, he looked a lot like France in his Future state. He was tall, even taller than America by a few inches. England supposed that it along with his muscular build matched his strength, a fact that everyone forgets because they mistake him for America or forget him entirely. His hair was slightly longer but not quite as long as France's. His expression had remained the same since 2013, along with the glasses, hair curl, and Kumajiro. Canada wore a light purple hoodie and jeans in a casual manner.

"So what are you doing here Canada?" America asked, knowing that Canada was bound to misunderstand England's presence.

"...I came here for a visit. I told you that I was going to come over yesterday…." Canada paused and pointed to England, "I thought you two-"

"Uh…. it's not what it looks like…. I mean er, he's not what- or um who he looks like," America prattled.

"Then who-"

"He's from…. he's from the past," America stated hesitantly, deciding it was better not to lie to his brother.

"Oh…. and he's here because…?" Canada questioned hesitantly.

"I got stuck here courtesy of the Doctor…" England chimed in, not liking being talked about like he wasn't in the room.

"Oh, the Doctor…," Canada nodded understandingly, "How long ago are you from?"

"2013."

"Wow, that's pretty long ago…"

"I suppose…." England stood up.

"Oh yeah, the holo-movie's over so why don't we take this to the living room?" America suggested.

So England followed America and Canada out to a, in his terms, posh-looking living area.

"So uh, what's up Canada, why did you want to come over again?"

Canada sighed, "I told you already Al, I just came over for a visit."

"Oh right… sorry, I must've forgot," America said scratching the back of his neck embarrassedly.

England shook his head, rolled his eyes, and smiled ever-so slightly.

Canada frowned a bit, but it wasn't a sad or angry frown -more a play frown among friends, "Come on, don't go forgetting things I've only said a few minutes ago."

"Sorry dude," America apologized..

England sighed, the smile still barely noticeable on his face, "That's one thing I would have hoped had changed."

"It's not my fault, the guy's practically invisible!" America protested.

"Hey! I'm not invisible… entirely."

England chuckled a bit as they got into a friendly argument, Canada stopped mid-sentence and stared at him.

Canada couldn't help but watch in amazement, "You…. you're laughing?"

England blinked, "Yes….. why not?"

"It's just been so long since I've seen you… well the current you…" Canada trailed off a moment, "It's been awhile since I've seen him laugh without sounding…. in a word, maniacal."

England was taken aback by that, and he glanced away not wanting to meet their eyes. He remembered how he had acted in his empire days.

"Really?" America asked, furrowing his brow, "I was hoping he'd gotten better when I started leaving him alone…"

"...I probably got worse….." England mumbled inaudibly, still not meeting their eyes.

"He um…. he got better for a while before he took a turn for the worse…" Canada chimed in shyly.

"Crap….. so he wasn't just acting all bitter and grumpy like that because I was around?"

England sighed, "No, probably not."

"Oh… sorry then, I figured since you seem to hate me lately it'd just be worse if I were around," America replied apologetically.

England furrowed his brow slightly, it seemed half out of sadness and anger. He tried to lift the mood, "So… that um…. 'holo-movie' was really great. I suppose that twenty-first century forms of movies are outdated?" England wondered aloud casually, though he already knew the answer.

America picked up on England's desire to change the subject and responded in kind, "Yeah, I haven't watched a DVD -that's what those disc thingys were called right?- in centuries!"

"Yes, a Digital Video Disk. I figured such."

"I don't think I have either," Canada commented, making sure to say something so that the other two wouldn't completely forget he was there.

A brief silence entered into the room as England struggled to find another topic for conversation, "Well, I'm quite tired. I think I should go back to my future home for some rest, it's probably night there already." England remembered the whole five hour time difference.

"Oh right, see you later… uh or earlier? This time travel thing is confusing…." America laughed, "In any case bye for now."

"It's not 'time travel', it's the _time difference_."

America sighed, "I know that! I have more than one time-zone myself you know. I mean….. well you're from the past and I'm probably not going to see you again before the Doctor picks you up… but my past self will have already seen your current self a bunch of times after now chronologically for you… and uh…. well I probably won't be seeing your future self for a very long time…. so I guess I _won't _be seeing you later, but earlier… Right?"

"Ehh… right," England stood up, "Goodbye America, Goodbye Canada. I'll see you both….sometime."

Canada smiled, "Goodbye England, see you… around."

And with that, England nation hopped back to his future home, where it was already night. He decided to go straight to bed, not wanting to accidentally run into the queen.

… … …

America had told Future England that there was going to be a meeting today, but even so the English nation had slept in to the point that the two of them had to rush just to be sure they'd make it in time, and escape Germany's wrath.

Future England sat down at the large meeting table, and took out his past self's paperwork. He had gotten bored enough to do it so that wasn't an issue. It would just be a meeting of the G8, but Future England was slightly nervous about being called on. He had absolutely no idea what was going on in 2013…. but he was a very good liar.

England sat patiently as all of the nations took their respective seats, and Germany started the meeting.

"All right, now zat ve are all here let's begin," Germany started, looking over at England, "England, you never finished your report last meeting, vould you like to continue vhere you left off?"

"Actually, no. I wouldn't." He replied honestly leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms defiantly.

Germany was a bit surprised by England's strange behaviour but didn't mention it, "Zen who vould like to start?"

"Da, I would." Russia said cheerfully, and proceeded to begin his report.

Future England quickly remembered how boring these world meetings were. He leaned farther back in his chair, and propped his feet up on the table, _much_ to the surprise of the other seven nations.

"England! Feet off ze table!" Germany commanded.

England frowned but reluctantly did as he was told, not without giving Germany a slight scowl.

Russia went back to presenting his report, to which the other nations listened intently (more for fear of Russia than actual interest) until he had finished.

"Thank you Russia," Germany took the floor, "now who else vould like to go?"

"I will go, Doitsu-san," Japan said, standing up as he began to present a report.

England again became bored, he decided to simply occupy his mind with other thoughts. And that was easy to do. He began to think about what he would be doing when he got back to his time, and about the matter of his war with Germany. He knew that his past self had handled it quite well, but he couldn't help but wonder.

Suddenly, he remembered what he had said in the past about Italy basicly being free. He glared at the Italian, who gave him a surprised look and mouthed uncertainly 'I'm~a sorry', though he didn't know what he had done to upset England.

Soon Japan had finished up his report and sat down without saying any more.

"Vould anyvone else like to volunteer?" Germany asked.

Future England groaned loudly and dramatically. He was nearly bored to death!

Germany looked to England, seeming a bit irritated by England's demeanor, "If you are so bored, zen vhy don't you present your report, England."

"Well, I don't have a report to present. Like I know what's going on nowadays," England sighed irritatedly.

"Vhat do you mean?" Germany sounding both angry and curious at the same time.

"I mean; _I. Don't. Have. A. Report._"

"Vhat?!" The German shouted.

"Hey, go easy on him Germany, I'm sure England just waited til the last minute and forgot to do it or something, right England?" America spoke up, trying to make this end without turning into a huge fiasco.

"Sort of," England said casually, trying to not lie or tell the truth at the same time.

"See so don't worry about it!" America chimed in again.

Germany made an exasperated face and then sighed, "Fine, but I need to have a talk vith you, America, after ze meeting is over."

"What? But I don't want to-" America started before sighing himself, "Fine…"

England raised an enormous eyebrow neutrally and looked between the two nations.

"Zen I vill see you after ze meeting," Germany said, turning his attention back away from America, "Now, who vould like to go next?"

The rest of the nations were in a stunned silence. When no one volunteered, Germany spoke again, "Fine. Zen ze meeting is now over. You are all dismissed."

England immediately gathered his things and left, not wanting to be there any longer then necessary. While America had no choice but to stay behind to talk with Germany.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" America asked, hoping to get straight to the point.

"Vat is vrong with England?" Germany asked sounding somewhat concerned as he stood up.

"Ve~ He looked really angry at me for no reason." Italy frowned, joining them along with the remaining nations who were also curious.

"Uh….He's..." America trailed off for a bit, not wanting to tell the truth but not sure what else he could say to explain the situation, "He's been really sick lately, I'm not really sure why it's making him act so weird, but he insisted he was well enough to come to the meeting."

China raised an eyebrow, "That doesn't explain why he's acting imperialistic, aru."

America flinched at China's uncannily accurate word usage, "Er….. I'm not really sure… maybe he got drunk when I wasn't looking?"

"Non, Angleterre eez not like zat when 'e's drunk, Amérique, you know zat," France chimed in.

_Darn… there goes that excuse._ America thought to himself before saying aloud, "Then maybe he's only a little drunk…. or who knows, maybe he's finally gone crazy!"

"No. America stop making excuses, I know what opium was like when he was imperialist, aru. Why is he acting that way, is he trying to get his empire back, aru?" China was persistent.

"W-why do you all think I know anything about this?" America said, getting a bit nervous, "It's not like I know everything there is to know about England."

"True. But you did cover for him before," Japan stated, "It's onry rogicar to assume you know something you aren't terring us."

"I-I don't!"

England suddenly walked back into the room and scowled at all the nations who were now looking at him, instead of America, "Wot!? I forgot that economy paper!" England walked to the meeting table and held up aforementioned paper.

"Uh, it's nothing, England," America stated.

Future England raised a bushy eyebrow as he put the paper back into it's folder and stared, "You were talking about me," He stated and sighed angrily, "Fine! Say what you'd like, I'll leave. I hope you have fun gossiping."

There was a tense silence as England stormed out the door, slamming it loud enough that the room seemed to shake.

"Perhaps I should go… talk to him…?" America suggested a bit sheepishly.

Germany nodded, "Alright, you can leave."

America waved goodbye to everyone and quickly ran out the door heading for England's house.

England was pacing around, trying to blow off some steam and find somthing to do.

"We weren't gossiping you know," America said, seeming to show up out of nowhere, "They were just worried about you."

"Really? I would never have guessed," England grumbled sarcastically, "I don't want their pity."

"Why do you always seem to associate worry with pity…." America mumbled, "It wouldn't have been a problem if you didn't act so much different than the current England."

"I was a pathetic fool."

America's brow furrowed, "No... you weren't."

"I was."

"Dude… you weren't pathetic, and you weren't a fool. Why would you even think that? It's you we're talking about here!" America replied, struggling to not raise his voice.

England glared, half ignoring America, "I will admit that I have changed. I'm _glad_ that I changed. I was a fool who didn't deserve pity, and I refuse to be one any longer." He kept his voice a conversation level, however.

"You were never a fool… why- what makes you think you were a fool? Why do you think everyone's pitying you? Have you really changed so much that you can't see what's really happening around you!?" America was getting angry, he knew that it would just lead to another argument but he felt like he would regret it if he didn't at least try to convince Future England that his past self wasn't so bad.

"I don't have to listen to this." Future England began to fiddle with his teleporter.

America frowned, "And what are you going to do about it? Go hide yourself alone somewhere? I'll shout then!" America took in a big breath, "YOU WEREN'T A FOOL!"

England stopped to cover his ears, wincing at how loud America could be, he tried to keep his temper, "I was a fool. I've _always_ been a fool. Why can't _you_ see _that!?"_

"If anyone's a fool it's me," America muttered to himself, his voice returning to a tolerable volume, "You may be stubborn, and proud, but you're not a fool!"

"I don't have to listen to this." England fiddled with his teleporter again and just as he had gotten it ready America grabbed his arm causing them to both be teleported away.

America was shocked to find that they were suddenly in a forest, "Wha- what the heck?!"

England finally lost his temper, "WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!? THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BLOODY VACATION!"

"No," America replied, regaining his composure, "I'm not leaving you alone, not this time!"

England scowled darkly and pinned America up against the trunk of the nearest tree, "I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! DON'T TEMPT ME TO TRY."

America was surprised to find that Future England's strength was enough to match his own ridiculous strength, even though England was supposed to be sick. America frowned, "You wouldn't do it."

"Don't tempt me!"

"Then do it."

After a few moments of silence, England frowned and dropped America. He walked several feet away and turned his back to him, oddly enough, he chuckled, "I'm pathetic."

A faint smile formed on America's face, glad that the England he knew still seemed to exist within future England, but it soon returned to a frown, "No, you're not pathetic, you're kind."

"No, America," He continued to chuckle hollowly, "I'm weak, pathetic."

"You think you're weak because you don't want to kill me?"

"I'm weak because I _can't_ kill you. Not now, not in one thousand years, not in 1776. I'm pathetic." He erupted into a hysterical fit of laughter.

America took a few steps towards him, "Pathetic is when you use the same recipe for hundreds of years and still manage to burn the scones every time. Not being able to kill me, that's compassionate, it just means that whether you want to admit it or not you care about me."

England turned and looked at him in a way America had never seen before. It looked like he had just snapped, honestly terrifying, "Really? What right have you to make assumptions about me?" England lurched to pin America to the same tree, this time by the neck, "Don't assume anything about me. I'm the second British Empire."

America was stunned, maybe the England he'd come to know was long dead after all.

After a few seconds of tense silence America finally spoke up, "You and I both know you won't kill me, so would you mind putting me down?"

"I said 'I _couldn't_ kill you'," he smiled maniacally, "I never said I couldn't _try_~"

"Then go ahead!" America sounded almost happy at the thought though his expression made it clear that 'happy' was not the correct way to describe what America was feeling, "Try. Really. _Try_ to kill me. You might even succeed. I'll make it easy for you, I won't even resist."

The smile dropped from England's lips and he fixed his eyes on America's. He slowly lowered America to the ground, "You know just what to say, don't you? To make me stop? You know that it wouldn't be worth it to me," England let go of America, "How? Why? Why _bother_? I'm not worth your time or effort."

"No. I mean it. Go ahead and kill me."

"Why? Why should I?"

"Maybe if I'm not around… maybe that'll be enough to change the future," America replied in an uncharacteristically quiet tone.

England's gaze softened slightly, "You think the same as you will in one-thousand years. Killing you won't solve anything."

"You don't know that… It might."

England frowned, "You're not allowed to be depressed, that's my job. Stop it."

"Well who says it has to be you that's depressed? And why only you? What's the big idea here?" America asked, his tone shifting back to the slightly angry one from before, "Why can't I be depressed? Why can't the two of us just wallow in misery and self-pity together? Better yet- why can't you cheer up?"

"So that's where you're going with this. America, you're the nation who will forever be a teenager at heart. You're loud, oblivious, and happy. _I'm not_. America, I've always been a loner, ever since I became a nation, and even _before_ that. I frequently get depressed. There are so many things that I regret doing and can't change. There are so many things I wish that I'd done and can't do. You don't know what it's like for an empire to fall… and I don't think you ever will," England sighed, "I'm not going to 'cheer up'. It's not in my nature. I just…. I don't understand why, why do you think that cheering me up will solve this? Why do you think that if you weren't around I'd be... happier?"

All of a sudden America wrapped his arms around England in a hug.

"You know…. you used to be my hero. I just don't like seeing you sad like this so if there's _anything _I can do to change it, I …. I'm willing to do it."

England blushed the most he had in a long time, "Wh-What are you doing!? G-Get off me!" England tried to push America away, but America held fast.

America was blushing a bit himself, "It always made me feel better when you would hug me back when I was a colony… so I thought I'd try it."

England's eyes widened and he blushed a bit more. He hadn't thought about America's colonial days in what seemed like centuries. Several memories came back to him and he tried to brush them away, "G-Get off!"

"Do you promise not to get creepy depressed like before?" America asked with a smile.

"Unhand me!" England was too caught up in his own thoughts to even hear America.

"Not until you calm down and stop being so mopey."

"F-Fine! J-Just let me go! This is so…. strange!" England stuttered and struggled to find a word to describe this situation. He hadn't been hugged in God knows how long.

America hesitated for a moment but reluctantly released the British Empire. He asked with a smirk, "What's so strange about it?"

England stiffened, "I-... I haven't had really…. any display of affection toward me in… a very long time…. it's strange…" He was still blushing as he struggled with the awkwardness of that sentence.

America laughed, blushing a bit when England had said the word 'affection', "Then maybe I should hug you more often."

England took a step back, and his eyes widened, "Why!? S-So you can get on my good side!? So I'll go easy on you?!"

"Not everyone has an ulterior motive you know."

"Everyone has an ulterior motive." England corrected.

"That's very cynical of you to say," America replied, obviously not happy about the idea that England thought he had hugged him for any rational reason.

"Cynical or not, it's true. I know it from experience." England tried to look angry despite the fact that he was blushing profusely.

"Well then I guess I'm an exception to your cynical rule."

"No one is an exception. Everyone is out to get something from me."

America raised an eyebrow, "Then what do you think I'm after?"

"My trust. To 'cheer me up', so I don't drag you down with me. You can't deny those."

"Only the second one really," America said after a moment of thinking, "It doesn't really matter to me if you trust me, or if you're going to 'drag me down' with you… I just want you to be happy."

England sighed, _Again with that?_ "Fine." England looked around the forest that they had appeared in, "Wow… I-... this is just two trees in a field…. I forgot what an actual forest looked like…"

"... Your future sounds really, really stupid."

"From your point of view, I suppose."

America sighed, "It is though. You're grumpy and lonely all the time, and there aren't trees, and you and I don't talk, and… actually have you even told me anything else?"

"I don't remember. There is one thing that makes it bearable, though," England stated smiling.

"And what's that?"

"Bowling."

America gave England a look as if to say 'seriously? That's what makes all that terrible stuff worth it?'.

"Well, not really bearable, but it really helps," England smiled.

"Right….." America sighed once again.

"America, how stress relieving is breaking things?" England questioned trying to prove his point.

"Er… very... I guess, but then all you have is a broken window that needs fixing."

"No, it fixes itself."

"Interesting….. so you break a window…. and it fixes itself?" America asked making sure he'd understood correctly.

"Yes, and breaking it is part of the sport," England reassured.

"The future is weird…"

* * *

**Cast:**

**England: DOF-san**

**Future England: Shared**

**Queen Amelia III: Me**

**The 10th Doctor: Me**

**America: Me**

**Future America: Me**

**Future Germany: Shared**

**Future Italy: Me mostly**

**Future Canada: Shared**

**Germany: Shared**

**Japan: Me**

**France: DOF-san**

**Italy: DOF-san**

**Russia: DOF-san**

**China: DOF-san**


	9. It All Makes Sense Now!

**A much shorter chapter this time, especially compared to the previous one. Some obvious foreshadowing, but other than that there's really not much to this chapter.  
Also I feel obligated to apologize for future Frances actions... And I would like that note that we were _not_ on crack when we wrote this chapter, no matter how silly parts of it are.  
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this story, and please review, it'll make both me and DOF-san very happy.**

* * *

**Chapter 8, "It all makes sense now":**

When Present England woke up he could smell a delicious aroma wafting through the air. That was strange.

Who could possibly be cooking? This was his (future) house…. and despite his recent revelation that Queen Amelia III was actually quite intelligent he wasn't sure he trusted her with his cookery or near anything sharp for that matter.

The curiosity was enough that England got out of bed, not bothering to change clothes despite still being in his same clothes from the day before, and headed straight for the kitchen only to find… a butler?

"Bonjour," There was disgust in his words, "maître Angleterre."

_A French butler? _England thought to himself before the last bit of what the butler had said registered. The only Frenchman that would call him by his nation name would be...

"Wait…. France?"

"Oui," France sighed exasperatedly. He looked as impeccable as usual, though a mix of tiredness and anger filled his voice.

England had to struggle to keep his jaw from dropping, "You're…. a butler?"

"Oui, of course," France eyed England oddly, "are you feeling alright, maître Angleterre?"

"I'm fine…" England said casually, seeming almost excited as he continued, "You're _my _butler?"

"...Oui. Where are you going with zis…?" France looked quite confused.

England then realized that he was acting strange and quickly tried to come up with an adequate excuse for his strange line of questioning, "I just wanted to rub it in."

_I've never had to pretend to be myself before_, England thought to himself a faint smile appearing on his face.

France suppressed a scoff, "What would you like for breakfast, maître Angleterre?"

England had to think for a moment as he wasn't used to having France as his own personal chef, the first thing to come to mind was, "An omelet."

"Oui, un moment." France walked back to the stove, and around a minute later, came and set the table with silverware, a cup of tea (most likely instant), and a large French omelet.

"Thank you, France," England said as he looked at the the meal before him (scowling a bit at the likely instant tea) and picked up the silverware to begin eating.

France stood a few feet behind him as England ate the omelet. Most foods were instant nowadays, but England had always prefered that France make him food the old-fashioned way.

England took a weary sip of the tea, before instantly putting it back on the table. _Terrible. _The omelet had a strange taste to it, but England supposed that it probably had something to do with it being the Future… after all it was France's cooking. Still he'd have preferred better tea, he'd have to make himself some proper tea later.

France proceeded to stare at England more oddly for putting down his tea (which he had never refused before) in such a manner.

"Would you mind not staring at me, it's rather rude of you," England said as he took another bite of the omelet.

"Fine, maître Angleterre." France looked away angrily.

"Thank you," England sighed, continuing his meal is silence.

After he had eaten France wordlessly took his plate and other table settings, and put them in the 'holo-dishwasher'.

England watched as he did this with silent curiosity, finding future technology (even the dishwasher) to be baffling.

When France had finished, he stared at England curiously, confused as to why he was still there, let alone watching him do dishes with awe.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Non, why are you still 'ere? You're always so busy."

"Oh…. right… I just happened to have a bit of free time," England lied, hoping to convince France that he was his future self.

The latter squinted his eyes, "Are you sure zat you're feeling alright, maître Angleterre?"

"Never better," England replied, shying back a bit from France's scrutiny.

"You….. you look different. Better." France took a few steps toward England.

England gulped, of course his butler would have realized that he had been sick and was now suddenly healthy…. he needed a lie, fast, "What are you talking about…. I've always looked like this.".

"And you've always been a better liar zen zis. You're…. not Angleterre, are you?"

"What? Of course I'm England, w-who else could I possible be?" England asked raising a curious and rather large eyebrow.

"Not 'im," France surveyed England a bit before smiling almost provocatively, "you're _zat_ Angleterre, aren't you?"

England looked him straight in the eyes and in a flat voice asked, "What are you even talking about?"

"You're ze Angleterre from zat time zere were two of you," France started to laugh as England paled, "I knew you were acting strangely after zat! It all makes sense now."

"Er… What makes sense… exactly?"

France's smile grew, "Wouldn't you like to know?~"

England gave France a questioning gaze, "Yes, I would actually."

*Grope*

England jumped back, "W-wot're you doing?!"

"Funny, you asked ze same zing last time~" France chuckled a bit.

"That's because I'm the same bloody person you frog!"

"Onhonhon~ Of course~"

England decided that that the best course of action would probably be to get away from France as quickly as possible so he began to slowly back out of the room.

France smiled and followed him, "Where are you going, Angleterre?~"

"I…. uh…. I was hoping to…. have a chat with the Queen…. about something," England started shakily, he had the feeling he knew exactly what France was intending to do and he was determined to make sure it wasn't going to happen.

"Oh, maybe I should come with you~" France slowly stalked England as he backed away.

"N-no that won't be necessary," England stuttered, Lord only knows what would happen with France and that flirt of a Queen in one room.

"Are you sure?~"

"Yes, quite."

France smirked and grabbed England's arm as he groped him yet again.

"Stop that!" England tried to swat France's hand away, but France held fast onto his arm.

"What, you don't want a kiss before I leave?" France asked provocatively.

"NO!" England's voice went slightly higher than expected.

France smiled, "Zen you don't want me to leave?"

"I'm _NOT_ going to kiss you, nor let you kiss me! Just- Go away!"

"I'm afraid you don't 'ave much choice in ze matter, Angleterre. You are not so strong as ze ozer Angleterre, non?" France smirked as he pulled England closer to him, leaning in for a kiss.

England leaned back away from France and tried to get away, but he found that France was much stronger in this time then he was in the present.

France let out a chuckle as England struggled fruitlessly. He snaked his other arm around behind England's head, forcing him into the kiss.

England mustered up the needed strength to push France away. He franticly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he blushed and ran away.

France smirked again as he began to follow, "Oh, so shy Angleterre~~"

"GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM ME! WANKER!"

France frowned, stopping after taking only a few steps, "I suppose this ezz what 'e meant….."

England stopped, "Uhhh…. wot?"

"Zat Angleterre ezz going to punish me once 'e returns to zis time period," France sighed, "If I do anyzing to you, 'e will kill me… or worze."

"Uhhh…. what exactly could I do that would be worse…?" England was very confused.

France let out a chuckle, "Ohonhon, I'm not going to give you any ideas. 'E ezz an empire, 'e knows 'ow to be sadistic enough wiz'out my 'elp."

England flinched slightly at being indirectly called sadistic, but managed to ask, "...Wha exactly did I say..?" _To make _France _back off?_

"Eet 'as been too long to recall ze exact words but," France cleared his throat and attempted a rather good impression of England's accent, " 'if you ever see a past me in the future, don't do what you're thinking about doing because I will kill you, you bloody pervert, I mean it, I will make you rue the day you decided to not heed this warning.' Eet was somezing like zat."

"Uhh….. I should thank myself then." England mumbled to himself.

"In any case, I suppose I should go…" France said disappointedly as he turned to head for the door, "I 'ope your future self won't 'old zat kiss against me, I couldn't 'elp myself~"

France chuckled as he left the room to go wherever it was he lived in this time.

England stood at a loss for words about what had actually just happened. It was only mid-morning, and he had had an encounter with France. Where would this day go next?

"Oh hello past-England, how has your morning been so far?" Queen Amelia III asked, walking up behind England, "No sign of the Doctor yet?"

"...no." England replied uncertainly, avoiding the first question.

"That bad?" The Queen asked, raising an eyebrow, "I assume it has to do with that blasted frenchman?"

"Yes…. how did you guess..?" England was surprised that she figured out what had happened, even with the realization that she was quite brilliant.

"I can smell his cooking, so it's obvious he was here, and you look a bit distraught… the only logical assumption is that the pervert discovered that you weren't the current England and attempted to violate you in some way," The Queen stated her deduction coldly.

"Ah…" England looked himself over self consciously, "So, why did you come looking for me, your majesty?"

"I need a second player."

"For what, exactly..?" England knew he was going to regret asking.

"Bowling," The Queen answered cheerily, "I'm bored and I know that you have nothing better to do at the moment."

"I don't really bowl, your majesty."

The Queen giggled, "Maybe not yet, but I'm sure you'll find it's a wonderful stress-release."

"Uh… alright."

With a smile the Queen quickly led the way to the house's bowling window. A paneless window with an odd series of wickets set up outside it.

"Umm…. where are we?" England asked curiously glancing at the wickets outside the window where the Queen had stopped.

The Queen cocked her head curiously, "It's a bowling window of course."

"Don't you mean 'bowling alley', you majesty?"

"What? No, of course not, why would anyone bowl in an alley, there'd be no where to set up the wickets."

"B-But bowling doesn't have wickets, it has pins!"

"No…. it has wickets, and a window. I'm not sure what kind of bowling you've been doing up until now but it's wrong."

"No…. it involves a weighted ball and a series of pins lined up in a lane. You're supposed to try and knock all the pins down. Why would you throw a bowling ball through wickets? It wouldn't fit."

"A bowling ball...?" The Queen laughed, making her sound something like an evil witch, "You clearly know nothing about bowling! You don't use a 'ball', you use a 'boll'... perhaps I should just show you as you clearly know nothing."

With that the Queen picked up what England could only assume was a 'boll' and quickly threw it at the window with enough force to shatter the glass. The boll whizzed through several wickets before coming to a stop… and immediately turning back and returning to the Queen's hand.

As bits and pieces of the window returned to their place the Queen stated, "Ten points, see if you can do any better."

Queen Amelia III handed England the boll, an object that looked exactly like a _bowl_ that one would eat out of, but made out of a strange, durable metal-like substance.

England looked at the queen, "Throw it through the window!?"

"Yes. What are you daft? It's the whole point of the game."

"But-..." England sighed and looked at the automaticly reassembled window, "Fine."

England held the thing like a frisbee and threw it as hard as he could out the window.

It broke the window and after passing through absolutely none of the wickets it returned to England's hand.

"Only one point," The Queen stated, "You'll need bonus points if you want to catch up to me."

"How do I get those?" England questioned, amazed that the object returned directly into his hand with no effort of his own.

"It depends on the day really, today being the second tuesday and… well I suppose it'd be impossible for you," The Queen giggled.

England raised a thick eyebrow, and handed the queen the 'boll'.

Amelia III took the boll and proceeded to take her turn, earning herself another fifteen points when the boll hit itself against England's face upon it's return. With a laugh she said, "Although, impossible though it might be, it'd be interesting to see you try for those points."

England grunted and rubbed a cheek, "You hit me in the face!"

"And got three points because of it."

"That's not fair!"

"Of course it is, it's in the rules so feel free to hit me in the face as well, though you'd only get one bonus point for it."

"Wha- Why?!"

"Because I'm a woman, and you're a man. The other two points are taken out because it's not very gentlemanly to hit a lady in the face so they count off for that," The Queen explained as though she believed it were completely obvious and believed England to be an idiot for not understanding on his own.

"B-..I-..wh-..." England sputtered a few incoherent syllables before being able to piece together a sentence, "This game is so strange!"

"Say what you want, it was a British man who came up with it."

"Ugh…" England took the boll from Queen Amelia III and proceeded to take his turn, earning a mere five points after getting it through one wicket.

"That's better," The Queen chuckled, taking the boll and earning herself 13 points for three wickets, as well as an extra two points for throwing it backwards.

They played back and forth for a while, England getting hit in the face an additional two times, with the queen winning by a landslide.

"Rather good for your first time playing," The Queen complimented him.

England let out an angry 'Mmm', _I just know I'm going to have bruises from this._

"Oh come on, you'll heal quickly enough, you always do."

"How do you know what I'm thinking!?"

The Queen smirked, "It's much easier to read you than it is the current England, everything you're thinking is practically written on your face."

England self consciously put a hand on his own face, "Really?"

"Yes," She replied, "compared to the England I'm used to, reading you is like reading a children's story."

England frowned at the comparison, "Well you must be more observant than most of the nations in my time."

"Many of them were probably just too preoccupied with their own troubles to notice," She replied modestly.

England scoffed slightly, partially angry and hurt that no one had took the time to look at him closely if it were that obvious.

The Queen seemed to hesitate before adding, "I wonder…. maybe this exact conversation is what inspires you to improve your ability to deceive others to the level that your current self has achieved. I suppose that would mean I'm the cause of what will be one of your most annoying traits."

England looked at her surprisedly, but remained silent.

Suddenly they could both hear a strange noise… a familiar noise.

England turned toward the, now familiar, sound of the TARDIS materializing.

There it was, the blue box that England had been waiting for, sitting right there in his -future- living room. The Doctor stepped out, and smiled.

"Hello England, Queen Amelia III."

The Queen smirked, "Why hello Doctor, you're looking much… hotter since the last time I saw you."

England blinked, the Doctor did look…. different.

"Oh thanks, I do like this look better… more hair, oh, but I'm not too fond of the teeth, they're weird," The Doctor replied, taking the complement. He looked at England, "Oh right, you probably haven't seen me like this yet… it's already been more than a year though, my time of course. Ever since the Christmas with the Sycorax trying to invade Earth, with the blood control… you remember that right?"

"Yes." England said a little more harsh than intended.

"Of course you do, that was an interesting day, I lost a hand that day -got it back though…. right, right, enough reminiscing I need to get you back to 2013," The Doctor said, not picking up on England's harsh tone, "Allons-y~"

With that random bit of French the Doctor motioned to the TARDIS looking at England somewhat expectantly, "You ready?"

England sighed, "Yes, I suppose." He took a few steps close to the TARDIS.

"Bye bye Past-England, I'll always remember you as 'the hot one'," The Queen stated cheerfully.

"...Goodbye, your majesty." England gave a formal bow, and walked into the TARDIS.

The Doctor followed him in and quickly got to work pushing buttons and throwing levers causing the whole TARDIS to seem as though it were shaking…. which it was. Pretty soon the shaking subsided and the Doctor flung open the door.

"Well here we are! Your house, 2013…. and if I'm not mistaken it's a Monday."

"I'm not particularly fond of Mondays, but I'm certainly glad to be back." England stated plainly, "Now we just need to find my future self, and this can finally be over."

"Right… I wonder where he's gotten off to…." The Doctor replied, "Now, where would you have gone if you were him? Well, you are him, but you know what I mean."

"It depends on what I had been doing, and he acts a lot differently than me-"

"England?!"

Present England turned around to find America in his home, "Yes… Have you seen my future self? The Doctor has come to take him back to his time…"

"I haven't seen him since he was messing with his teleporty-thingy a few minutes ago…. I can't find him at all," America replied, sounding almost worried about the England from further in the future.

"Uhh…. He couldn't have go too far, right?" England turned directing his question to the Doctor.

"That depends on the temporal settings of the teleporter… it's from 3014 so they shouldn't be installing anything for that in another four- no it can't be!" The Doctor seemed to suddenly perk up as an idea hit him, "There was a rumor… supposedly there were people experimenting with time travel in the early thirty-first century, but I didn't think there had been any success…with the technology in that time there's no way a human would have survived…"

"But he's- I'm- We're not human, Doctor." England stumbled slightly.

"Exactly! So it's possible that he might have been able to time travel, it's a bit far-fetched though," The Doctor stated.

"Wait, so he could have gone back on his own?" America asked, "How does that work?"

"It's experimental time travel, he probably couldn't control it very well," The Doctor explained, "There's no telling where he'd gotten off to."

"He's just lost out in time somewhere then?" England asked worriedly.

" Yes now he's somewhere in the past… or the future… his trail's already vanished so I have no way of tracing where and when he is. He could even be stuck somewhere within the time vortex itself..." The Doctor trailed off sounding a bit worried.

England's eyes widened he glanced from the Doctor to America, who had been unusually quiet during this, "What can we do then…?"

"You two, can go back to your normal lives," The Doctor said casually, "I don't need the two of you coming along with me and making this even more complicated than it's already going to be, just call for me if you happen to see him. As for me, I'm going to find him, and take him back to where he belongs. I'm not sure how, or how long it'll take but I'll definitely find him."

England and America simultaneously nodded in approval.

"Then I suppose I'd best get to it," he added, turning to head back to the house so he could leave, however he only managed to take a few steps before America spoke up.

"Doctor I've been wondering…" America trailed off, sounding hesitant, "It's possible to change the future… right?"

The Doctor looked at him, and gave an understanding smile, "It's possible… but often the things you want to change the most are the things that must not be changed under any circumstances."

With that the Doctor returned to his TARDIS in silence and began his search for England.

* * *

**Cast:**

**England: DOF-san (shared during the Future France scene)**

**Queen Amelia III: Me**

**The 10th Doctor: Me**

**America: Me**

**Future France: Shared**


End file.
